Haunted by the Hunt
by Scottea
Summary: Friendships are strengthened during the hunt, the strength of relationships are shown during the hunt, and the closeness of relationships reflected upon after the hunt in the silence of friendship. Paramount owns the rights to ST I just play with their toys.
1. Chapter 1

Control. He needed to regain control. All those lessons he learned as a child about control were failing him. He shook his head as he recalled all those times he had been able to retain and maintain control in other testing situations eluded him. He had left the bridge without passing command to another senior officer as he felt his control rapidly failing him. He paced the confines of his quarters trying to gather himself but he kept hearing that voice. All he could hear was that voice and relive the total helplessness that had almost felled him as he had stood at the Communications Station.

He faintly recalled being aware of the Admiral's orders and the Ambassador's question about the delay in leaving but their voices were like background noise as he heard only the panic, pain, and plea that filled that beloved voice the others had not heard. He was totally stunned by all he heard in that word, in how that voice had called out his had called out his name and the sudden odd emptiness and silence in the part of his mind where he usually found warmth and comfort. A part of his mind tried to tell him that he had known the day would come when this would happen but he shook it off. It was not to happen so soon. It was not to happen like this. He was not ready for this. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this.

He gradually became aware that the last "Not like this." was not in his head and had a slight accent.

Slowly he turned and saw Doctor Leonard McCoy standing with his arms crossed looking at him, "Like I said, I've seen you most ways but not like this. Talk to me, Spock. What is it?"

How could he explain to this man what he was going through? This man who was always there. This man who had been on the bridge and had clearly understood something was seriously wrong and had all but dragged him into the turbolift saying something about him missing a medical checkup. This man whose arm he had so tightly gripped when he had first reached out and placed a hand on his wrist. The feelings of understanding and compassion that had flowed from that hand had reassured him, had let him know that his friend would help him.

"I, I," the words would not come as he suddenly remembered how this man may not have heard that voice but he did have a close connection to the one who had called out. He closed his eyes as he saw understanding in the blue eyes that looked at him, saw that his friend knew him needed the time, the privacy, to regain his control.

Two arms encircled him and a hand rubbed his back. An almost physical wave of love, concern, and understanding flowed from the hand through him and he let himself collapse into the embrace.

"It's okay to let it go in here with me, Spock. It's okay to let go in here." It was as though the words broke something in him and he felt his body shaking as tears, "It hurts, Spock. I know it hurts." Slowly he let the tears flow and felt McCoy hug him tighter, "That's it. Let it out. Sulu took the chair and knows where we will be. You just take your time. The crew understands. Well, we understand the Human aspects. We have the Human understanding of what it means to you. You just hold onto me as long as you need."

His internal timekeeping was also not up to its usual standard and he had no real idea as to how long he had allowed his Human side to express such an intense emotion but as he eased back into control he realized that McCoy was looking at him with such understanding and compassion he realized just how much of a friend this man was. He also realized that this man was hurting as much as he was and yet had thought to comfort him, had sought him out to assist him regain control.

"Doctor, I must apologize for,"

"For nothing, Spock. I could tell from how you looked like you wanted to charge off the bridge, that your Human side was overpowering your Vulcan side and you would need help as there is that part of you that is total dedication of procedure and regulations that was holding you prisoner. Them talking on returning with another Captain tore at all of us."

As he looked at the man Spock realized that the doctor was watching him he saw how the man was looking at him both as a friend and as a doctor and found a great similarity in that moment. Just as he himself was split between Vulcan and Human McCoy was, to almost the same extent, split between being a doctor and friend at such times. He had a sudden flash of insight as to how, by Human standards, it must be for the man when those members of the crew such as himself and Jim Kirk were seriously injured. He remembered so many times when he had first regained full consciousness in Sickbay and found McCoy with a look that changed from concerned to relieved and thankful to being the doctor.

"I am pleased my gripping onto your arm on the bridge did not damage you, I had a great need to get to my quarters. I will have to explain to,

"The others understand, Spock. Now the Ambassador might not have but the others did and the way Sulu took the Conn made him believe it was routine, especially when he apologized to the Ambassador and Admiral for the delay but stating that it was necessary for you to read the Captain's final orders. He is maintaining the orbit and awaiting your orders. Uhura told Command that there had been a break in communications and she would look into it and have you report back to them." The man looked at him a bit longer and that concern was still there in the eyes, "You do not believe Jim is dead, do you?"

Spock let out a slow breath and briefly closed his eyes as he once again had proof that those on the bridge also considered him a friend then looked at McCoy, "I must thank them for their understanding. As to your question, no, there is a part of me that will not accept Jim Kirk is dead. May I ask you the same question?"

McCoy rocked on his heels with his arms crossed over his chest, "Almost everything that is a part of me is saying that Jim is alive but there is the knowledge of what we saw down there, the savagery and fury, the way they made hunting another being a sport, and hearing his last words that makes me think they found and killed him. They killed four of our Security Team before they sent us back up and kept Jim. They did that then, then after that brief contact with Jim, them saying they were agreeable to allowing us to establish a base on their godforsaken rock saying Jim was giving them a greater challenge than they had expected and that his hunt was still not finished. My head is saying he is gone but my heart is saying he isn't. I know it is not logical, Spock, but that's how I feel." For a moment McCoy looked at the floor then back at him, "You must know, Spock, whatever you decide to do the crew will follow you, when you're ready."

He wanted to tell McCoy of that unusual emptiness and silence but remained silent. So often he had seen McCoy try to understand the Vulcan mind and ways but had often admitted that he found some things difficult to comprehend but accepted them as being Vulcan. They had been ordered to return with the Ambassador should there be no agreement with the governing body to allow them to establish diplomatic relations and to await the appointment of a new Captain. A new Captain. Uhura had told Command that he would give them a report. Sulu should have broken orbit and started the journey back to Star Fleet Command but had remained in the orbit he had established. It was as McCoy said, the crew was acting as they did when he was in command.

In command. He was now in control and unlocked the turbolift. Once again McCoy had seen the wisdom of not risking him having an emotional breakdown in the corridors. His friend did understand him better than he had thought, just as Jim had so often said.

"I should go back to the bridge," Spock started but McCoy looked him, "Doctor?"

"I think you should go to your quarters and wipe your face with a damp cloth, there's a clear sign of a lack of your usual emotional control. I'll meet you on the bridge later."

As McCoy started to turn to walk away Spock almost timidly said, "If you would not mind, Doctor, I would like to accompany you back to the bridge." as he oddly felt the need of his friend's presence and support.

There had been something in the Vulcan's voice that made McCoy stop and look at his friend. He was still badly shaken and while so many of his old retorts came to him they were not said. His friend needed him as much as he needed that quiet support that Vulcan could and would give him as soon as he totally regained that blasted control. "Sure, Spock. I'll just sit here while you freshen up."

When he had looked in the mirror Spock saw what McCoy meant. Clear evidence of his lack of control. He quickly took the action the doctor had suggested as well as changing into a fresh uniform. Then went with McCoy. He had a ship and crew to take care of first and then he would think of his future. So many times Jim had told him that McCoy and the others were also there for him, especially McCoy, as they were a lot alike. For so long he had not wanted to acknowledge that but this incident had made him face and accept that reality. They needed one another to get through the next few days, weeks, however long it took.

As he stepped onto the bridge he saw the others look at him and nod, Sulu stood and advised him of the condition of the orbit and the details of the projected return journey. He looked at the chair and for a moment was not going to sit in it till he saw McCoy's nod. The others were looking at him to lead them, to show them routine despite the loss. He looked at McCoy again and heard ," _Whatever you decide to do the crew will follow you._ " He looked back at the planet for a moment only just managing to control his emotions then slowly sat in the chair, "We will remain in orbit for one more standard orbit and then return the Ambassador and Admiral to Star Fleet Command and await new orders."

A part of his mind registered that those around him were watching him and even though he knew it was illogical, having seen what he had seen on the planet, a part of his mind, he knew it was his Human side, could not accept that Jim Kirk was dead. He knew the man, knew his abilities, knew his strengths, as well as his weaknesses, and he knew his friend's intense dislike of losing. So many times when winning seemed highly unlikely it had been his friend's dislike of losing as well as his unique cunning that had saved not only his own life but also that of the crew and the ship. Somewhere on that planet was his friend. He could not accept the possibility that he was dead despite all logic and the sensations in his mind. That, rather than anything emotional, was, he told himself, why he would not accept that Jim Kirk could be dead. It was an unusual emptiness and silence and not a total emptiness, more like there was a fog of some sort making it seem empty and smothering sound.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced up into blue eyes and saw McCoy nod. " _The crew will follow you. Almost everything that is a part of me is saying that Jim is alive_." They had both seen the proof that the four Security officers had been killed when they tried to survive the hunt. They had been given the blood-soaked shirts as proof. Jim being taken away to be hunted. The Ambassador had started to protest till the chairman of planet's ruling party said it was their way of testing the ability and character of those they were to deal with. They had heard how the hunt was, to them, both a test and a sport. They had been shown graphic film of the hunting and killing of the Klingons and Romulans who had tried to establish a base of the planet. The leaders of the planet knew that Jim was their leader and therefore he would be the one to be chased. He could still hear how the leaders had laughed when they said that they had always found what they hunted, that no off-worlder had been able to allude their hunters. He remembered the look in those hazel eyes when Jim had looked at him before he was taken away, recalled how calmly he had said, "Take care of the ship and the crew." Jim had been taken away and they had been sent back to the ship with the Ambassador and Admiral to await the outcome. There had been that near explosion in his mind when Jim had called out to him in such fear and pain then nothing then nothing till the leaders had contacted them contacting them to say Jim had given them a greater challenge than they had expected.

The look about the blue eyes let him know that McCoy truly understood what he was feeling, what he could not express. There was a light squeeze as McCoy nodded, "I'm staying right here, Spock. The more I think about it all the worse it is as I keep thinking of so many of those Human 'What ifs?' that you would find illogical."

Jim had asked him to take care of the crew. Jim would have meant McCoy in particular for there was a bond between them as well, a very real and very Human bond that while he did not fully understand it he knew he had always respected it and saw the pain around the blue eyes that he, if he dared admit it to himself, was feeling. He had also heard McCoy say that he had many questions about what had happened just as he was starting to as he kept thinking of all that had transpired since their arrival. Slowly he stood and looked at McCoy as he saw the man still had not fully accepted what had taken place. There was also uncertainty about the eyes as though something were worrying the man. "Can you be more specific about your 'What ifs' Doctor."

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 **A/N** Way too many things happening at once but should be able to get more time for writing soon.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Forgot to mention before but think you all know that I do not own rights to the show as it is Paramount's - but I do play with the characters.

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It seemed almost instinctive to Sulu to, without looking at either Uhura or even Chekov, assume the comm as soon as Doctor McCoy had taken a step towards the turbolift with Spock. He was certain that they had also noticed how whatever had happened on the planet had clearly affected both Doctor McCoy and Spock and how the way the Admiral had said that they would return to Command and appoint a new Captain had clearly affected both him and McCoy and McCoy had decided to get him off the bridge so he could think better. As he sat, aware that McCoy and Spock were only just stepping into the turbolift he had looked at the Admiral, "I am assuming command of the Enterprise while the First Officer is off the bridge, possibly reading the Captain's last orders." Momentarily he had looked at McCoy who had nodded just as the door of the turbolift slid shut.

"We are to return to," the Admiral started.

"With all due respect, Sir," Sulu looked at the man, "As dictated by Starfleet regulations, I, as second most senior officer assigned to the crew of this ship on the bridge at this time, have assumed command until such time as the First Officer returns to the bridge. Until that time we will remain in orbit. It will then be up to the First Officer as to when we return to Command."

There was no mistaking from the stunned look that flashed across the Admiral's face that he had seldom, if ever, been told he was not in command on a ship that was not his. Sulu was aware of the brief reassuring looks he got from Uhura, Chekov and the others on the bridge.

"You will require," the opening of the turbolift's door and the arrival of the relief crewmen who went to the helm station and, while Chekov went to the Science station, the navigation station, caused the Admiral to pause, "no other comments from me. It is no wonder the Enterprise has the reputation it has for having the best crew in the fleet."

"I agree," the Ambassador had nodded,"and I noticed how it was almost like watching a ballet as when Doctor McCoy and Mister Spock left there was no conversation apart from you notifying the crew that you have temporarily taken command. The other officers came in and took up positions without any orders given."

"You had no idea as to this so-called test happening before they decide if they want to join the Federation?" the Admiral looked at the Ambassador.

"No, we had been told there would be a test of the type of captains and crew we have on our ships. We had been told that they had their doubts about us being any different as neither the Klingons nor the Romulans had survived the hunt which showed how weak they are despite their superior ships. We are also aware, as clearly the Klingons and Romulans are, that they are prepared to, and have the means to, turn their entire planet into a dead planet by detonating various chemical, atomic, and natural weapons which would destroy the possibility of any form of life existing on the planet rather than live under the rule of those who are, when weaponless, weak." There was a pause as he had turned and looked at that planet. "There is still a possibility that we may get them to join us as they did say that Captain Kirk had given them a greater challenge than they had expected."

Sulu was aware that Uhura and Chekov had glanced at each other then at him as that was when they had noticed the change in Spock. There had been something different about their friend before that, something different from when he had returned from the planet, but it had been as though hearing that confirmed something in the Vulcan. Uhura had patched though the message from Bohana One where their official had said, "While we await the official finish we are pleased to say that Captain Kirk has given us a greater challenge that we had ever expected, one of the best hunts we have had." He would have known it was a diplomatic way of saying that the Captain had been killed during the hunt. No doubt that Vulcan mind would have immediately understood as his whole posture had change.

Yes, his posture changed yet his voice had been then same when he said the only words he said on the bridge, when he acknowledged by simply saying, "Enterprise acknowledges. Remaining in orbit till Captain Kirk's status is confirmed. First Officer Spock out." They had been aware for years of the close connection that existed between the two of them and were sure that Doctor McCoy had taken him off the bridge so the Vulcan side of their friend could deal with the implications. Sulu had no doubt that what had so shaken the First Officer was having to accept that their Captain had been killed for a possibility.

He remembered when Mister Scott had advised him that the Ambassador, the Admiral, McCoy, and Spock were back aboard how the Chief Engineer had then said, "If ye ask me, Mister Spock's nay so good. Handed me the shirts to have them verified and he's nay done that afore." When they had come to the bridge it was clear that something had happened that was not expected and that involved leaving the Captain alone behind. Then that message.

As he sat he nodded to Uhura and Chekov then the others as he flicked the switch to Engineering so that Scotty would be aware of the situation, "Maintain standard orbit till further notice. The officials of Bohana One will no doubt get back into contact with us at some stage. We will remain as we are till then." For a moment he sat and closed his eyes. One day he hoped to be the captain of a starshp but would not take this ship. He would care for the Enterprise but it was Jim Kirk's ship, his crew. He was just in the chair as a caretaker.

There was relief mixing with concern when he saw Spock and McCoy walk back onto the bridge till he studied how the First Officer slowly walked around the bridge checking each station and acknowledging each officer at the different stations before he came and stood for a moment by the chair. When they looked at each other for just a moment he was sure he saw a flicker of pain, but saw how Spock gave him a nod as he stood and released the chair. For only a moment did he think he heard Uhura's voice but knew she would only have said a word or two to Mister Scott to let him know what was happening.

It had been difficult not to look around to see how the others reacted when Spock had said about returning to Command and await new orders he was sure the rest of the crew would get new orders but there were five people present who knew he would leave Starfleet and return to Vulcan and to that place on his home planet where there was no contact with the outside world. While the Ambassador and the Admiral would possibly think it odd for McCoy to be standing where he was to the left of the comm and how he had his hand resting lightly on Spock's left shoulder the three of them knew and understood. All they could do for now was to support him as best they could by being aware of how he was as well as doing their best at the positions.

Down in Engineering Chief Engineer Scott said a silent 'Thank you." to Sulu as he was aware that it was not necessary for him to be informed of what was happening on the bridge, only when his bairns needed to give more or less power. He was still coming to terms with the loss of one of his lads. The lad was one of the few officers on the ship who he would trust not only with his bairns but also that safety of the crew. When the landing party was to beam down several of the officers in the Security Division were medically unable to beam down his lad had stepped in as they only needed one to stand in. It was so typical of the lad to just step up when needed, just as it was typical of the man to help him back to the ship those occasional times he had over-imbibed while off ship. So casually as he had stepped up to the platform to prepared to be beamed down the lad had looked at him and said, "In my locker there's a special bottle I got for you while on leave last month that you may as well sample while we are away." As he remembered that the Scotsman felt sick as no doubt the lad was being hunted and killed while he had gone to investigate the bottle. It had been a bottle from a special brewer who was known to have the best whiskey made the traditional way and aged for fifteen years. He could not remember ever seeing the lad drink but clearly the lad knew a good drop.

When he had heard Spock ask for the four of them to be beamed up he knew that something was seriously wrong and had been reluctant to take the shirts when the Vulcan had held the out to him. Once the four had gone he had taken the shirts to the main science lab and said to give him a definitive identification as to whose they were. It had not taken long for them to advise him and he had briefly closed his eyes and thanked the officer who advised him. He had seen the damage done to the shirts and knew there was far too much blood on them for the officers to have survived. The damage also told him that the men had tried to fight back but it had been a brutal attack, a brutal death. As soon as the confirmation had come through he had contacted Uhura and simply said, "Tell McCoy, confirmed." Now, just sitting waiting, the last thing he wanted to do was orbit that planet whose leaders believed in hunting and killing other beings as some sort of sport. It was not often he felt like sending down a few photon torpedoes but when it was confirmed who the shirts had belonged to: he was thankful that that shattered Vulcan had taken the time some time ago to teach him a way to calm his mind without needing a drink. He only hoped that McCoy would be able to help their friend deal with the events that were to come. He was sure McCoy knew that the rest of them were there to help should they be needed to help. As he felt himself calming he nodded to himself, aye, they would be there to help not just Spock but each other.

He cursed under his breath when his intercom buzzed, "Uhura here, Spock is back in the comm, McCoy helped him off the bridge. He needs us all."

"Ye just tell me what I can do, lass."

"Just be there. Uhura out."

Uhura had heard it in that voice when the four returned to the bridge minus the Captain. She had been unsure what to say or do but saw that Doctor McCoy was standing very close to Spock and was watching him very closely. They had been contacted by the officials on Bohana One and told that the Captain had given them a better hunt than they had thought. At first she had not understood what was meant but had seen the look on both McCoy's face as well as Spock's and then realized what it had to mean. When she had looked at the others after Spock had acknowledged the message she saw they had also heard how their friend was only just holding on, how he was finding it difficult to deal with those emotions he often said he did not have. That slow loss of control was in his voice.

As McCoy helped Spock leave the bride she had seen how both Sulu and Chekov and glanced at her and she knew the three of them were thinking the same, they owed it to the Captain and that First Officer to maintain the standards of the ship, to carry on as though they were there. She said a silent prayer of thanks to the gods that McCoy was with Spock and had devised a way of getting him off the bridge before he lost any control. There was a second prayer to the gods to be with Spock as she could not believe the gods would be so cruel as to part them like this: if one was to die she had always believed the gods would allow the other to be with them.

For a moment she had been taken aback when she saw Chekov at the Science station but knew that Spock and the Captain would have expected it. Just for a moment she turned and looked about the bridge and saw how smoothly the others had taken their places. There was a pleasantly surprised look on both the face of the Admiral and the face of the Ambassador when the relief crew silently and effortlessly took their places as Chekov moved to the Science station. She had seen how confident Sulu had been in telling the senior officers that they were going to stay in orbit when the Admiral had said about returning to Command, saw the confidence of one who would make a great captain one day.

When McCoy had returned with Spock she had noticed how the Vulcan control was stronger but not as it usually was. There was full authority in that familiar voice when he said that they would be maintaining orbit for one more standard orbit before returning to Command and getting new orders. New orders. Some might accept new orders but she knew him too well. While a majority of the crew would remain in Starfleet she knew that he would seek isolation. She knew she had to let Scotty know the situation and had known he would reply as he had, wanting to help. They would all be ready to help him, and each other, when they had proof as to the Captain's fate.

It had seemed the right thing to do, the only thing to do, to go to the Science station when Sulu had taken command and let the two outsiders know that he had taken command till Mister Spock returned. The two outsiders seemed surprised that they had done what was routine, clearly they had not been on a starship before, or had no idea of the standards they had on the Enterprise. When the four of them had first come back for Bohana One it was clear that something had happened as the Captain was not with them and Mister Spock was not himself. To the outsiders he would have, most likely, have seemed normal, but he was not. It was as though he were trying to do too many calculations all at one time and Doctor McCoy was there so close beside him as though ready to catch him should he collapse.

When that message had come, that the Captain had given them a better hunt than they expected, he had, and he was sure the others had, seen the way Doctor McCoy had just briefly placed one hand on Mister Spock's back and one on his shoulder as though to steady him. He knew, just as sure as the others knew, that when Spock heard that, when he had heard them say "had given", that the Vulcan side of him had cracked enough to let his Human side feel a pain greater than they could ever imagine. It had been wonderful how Doctor McCoy had been able to help Mister Spock get off the bridge. He was sure to the outsiders it would not have seemed out of place as it appeared Mister Spock had missed a medical checkup but they knew it was to give him time. Although they knew Mister Spock was not a good patient he was not one to not follow orders and routine medical checkups were mandatory.

It was clear when Doctor McCoy and Mister Spock returned to the bridge that Mister Spock was more like himself but still not himself. From how he had said they would make one more orbit had made it clear he believed, as they did, that Captain Kirk was dead. A part of him had hoped that the Vulcan part of Mister Spock had somehow not fully understood the meaning of the way they had used a past tense verb, but clearly he had. When Mister Spock had said about returning to Command and receiving new orders he knew the First Officer had been speaking of only them getting new orders as he could not imagine his Vulcan friend without the Captain.

They were just completing their orbit of Bohana One and through the hand on Spock's left shoulder McCoy was aware of the tension building in his friend. He was duty bound to return to Command, if the death of a Captain is assumed or pronounced by a governing body of a planet the ship must return to Command for redeployment under a new Captain. That message where the governing body had said the Captain had given them a better hunt than they had expected had been a notification that Jim Kirk was dead.

"Helm, plot a," Spock's voice sounded distant, almost foreign and McCoy felt the tension in the shoulder under his hand building.

"Spock! Receiving transmission from Bohana One." Uhura all but jumped out of her chair as she turned and the Vulcan saw disbelief on her face.

"On audio, Lieutenant."

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 **A/N** Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it.


	3. Chapter 3

Captain James T. Kirk thought back on all that had happened as he tried to figure out where he was and which way he should go. They had been on so many hostile planets that later became a part of the Federation and had encountered some very aggressive and punishing ways of proving their character and worthiness to the citizens and Bohana One had seemed like the others until the hunt started. He had been told that, as the leader, he was to be hunted and if he made it to the safe house at the end of the hunt they would more than allow a base to be build, they would supply all the materials and workers needed to construct it. The four security officers who had beamed down with them had been taken away and hunted. They had not been shown and given the four torn and bloodied shirts the men had worn and told that they had failed the hunt. When he had looked at both the Ambassador and the Admiral he could see they were also surprised and shocked although Kirk knew he McCoy and Spock had encountered other bloodthirsty ways He did not want to think what the damage to the shirts revealed about the injuries that would have killed his officers.

He had seen how it was taking everything in McCoy not to protest and there had been that worried look about Spock when he had turned to follow the two men taking him to where the hunt was to start. Somehow he had managed to grin and say what he had said so many times, "Look after the ship and the crew." and seen the nod even though that worried look remained. The Ambassador was there as was Admiral Tayler but all he saw were his two friend. Silently he hoped they would hopefully not get into one of their debates till they were back on the ship and alone.

Briefly he closed his eyes and shook his head. He was pleased his two friends had no idea how difficult this hunt was. He was being hunted but he was also hunting for a way to the safe house. While he had often gone hunting when he was younger this hunt had been and was unlike anything he had ever experienced. They had shown him a map, let him see the start and finish point, the safe house, but there had been no indication of the terrain, the hazards, the scale, nor the compass directions. He had little time to study the map before they made sure he had no concealed way of getting help or of being tracked and had taken him through a maze of tunnels then released him into a wilderness unlike any he had encountered before and telling him the hunters would be after him in thirty standard minutes.

There had been so many tracks to chose from and no indication of what direction he was facing. He had been at the junction of five tracks, each appeared to be equally overgrown. It was only the awareness that he was going to be hunted and what Star Fleet and the Federation stood to gain that made him keep running. Time had no meaning and he had lost track of how many times he had fallen because of gravel or roots, been startled by the calls of different indigenous animals, slipped on moss or mud, stumbled down steep slopes, dragged himself up almost vertical cliffs, crossed so many streams but it seemed that he was making no progress and all too soon he heard the voices of the hunters. There were, as he thought of the voices individually, six of them. They had made no effort to sneak up on him. They had spoken of their other hunts and at first he had not paid too much attention until he realized, from how they talked about who was to have this kill, and how it would be different from the others, that the hunt ended when they killed him if he did not reach the finishing point. He heard how none of the other thirty-nine off-worlders they had hunted had lived and how they wondered if he would cry out as so many had as they were killed and how long it would take him to die. They had laughed about how they could keep him aware of how they were killing him, how they had done it to others.

It had been difficult but he had managed to concentrate so much on what he was doing that he had kept his fear from consuming him or getting into the link he had with Spock. It was bad enough that he was doing this, he did not want Spock to know as he knew how it would be torment for his Vulcan friend. For just a moment, as he thought of how Spock would take his death, he lost his concentration and fell into a snare trap. As the voices got louder he struggled only to realize that the more he struggled the more ensnared he became. He had felt a hand grip his and then there had been a sensation of falling and as the panic of what was to come filled his mind he instinctively mentally cried out to the one who meant more than life to him then nothingness.

He did not know how long he had been unconscious but his first awareness was a hand over his mouth and a whispered, "Captain, do not move . . . nor make a sound." A part of his mind told him he had heard the voice before but could not place it apart from aboard the ship. He started to chide himself when, in that same part of his mind, he heard a faint, "Jim, you are the Captain to over four hundred crew and you cannot logically be expected to know each of them with any great depth of familiarity."

"You've been . . . out of it . . . all night. I've done . . . all I can to get . . . you so you can . . . follow a track I . . . have made to a hut. You should . . . be able to . . . contact the ship . . . from there, Sir."

Slowly what had happened and where he was came back to him but he was sure he was hallucinating as he had seen the security guards who came down with them slaughtered in a hunt. No, he had seen them actually killed but had seen their bloodied shirts waved high by the warrior hunters who had chased after the four officers in a hunt. The hunters had come back to the square where they had beamed down to waving the bloodied shirts high and saying they died well after a good but all too short hunt. There was no way anybody could have survived the blood loss the shirts showed and they heard the graphic details.

No, he shook his head. He would not think of that. Think only of the hut. The hut, the safe house. He had to get to it. Spock and McCoy would be there. They would know what to do. Almost as though he was in a daze he felt two hands pull him up, hold him steady for a moment while he regained his balance, turn him in a direction, and that voice he had heard before said, "At a steady . . . pace go one eighty-seven . . . paces straight . . .ahead. Bent branches . . . weeds point way. Clear. Go now, Sir." Then a slight push and he had mentally counted each step. One, two, three, four . . . .

He had started to question his sanity as he walked and yet saw bent branches and twisted weeds pointing in the direction he was going. In his mind he heard that beloved voice saying "Trust what you see and feel, Jim." as he reached out and touched the branches and weeds. They were real. See and feel. He had felt hands on him but he had not seen anybody. The thought made him pause for a moment as he thought back on how he knew where he was going. What if none of it was real and he was nowhere near the end? What if he had hit his head harder than he thought and was hallucinating? He remembered the bloodied shirts. They had been real. The hunt was real.

He hesitated as he saw the hut at step one seventy and realized there was nobody around it. Nobody guarding it as he walked closer, one seventy-five, one seventy-six. What if it was not the safe house mentioned? What if it was a trap? Was he going to walk in only to be killed?

In the middle of the clearing between where he was and the hut. Clearly what he saw before him had to be a hallucination as he was at the door to the hut at step one eighty-three step and he had been told one eighty-seven. But he could see it and, as he reached out, feel it. It was real. He had made it.

Two men were inside the small room and they looked surprised. "Captain Kirk, you, you were not expected to achieve what neither the Klingons nor the Romulans had. We must advise the Council of this."

While the obviously more senior man went to a rather older communications system the younger man handed him a damp cloth that he wiped his face with. This clearly was not a hallucination.

"This is Ry'Daylin at the post. Captain James Kirk has arrived. Time of hunt twenty-seven point one nine standard hours. He appears to have only minor injuries and walked in on his own." There was surprise in the man's voice.

"Captain Kirk?"

He walked over the the unit, "Kirk here."

"You have done what no other off-worlder has done and we will gladly talk with your Ambassador. While it is most unfortunate that four of your officers were killed we have been told they also most difficult to hunt. We look forward to meeting you when me meet with your Ambassador. We will make contact as to the time and place. You may contact your ship for your return. "

"Thank you, sir." It seemed to surprise the two men with him and from the delay it had clearly surprised those at the Council that he thanked them, or it could have, on reflection, have puzzled them.

After the man had turned a few dials and flicked a few switches he nodded at Kirk, "I believe you would say the hailing frequencies are open, Captain."

"Enterprise, come in Enterprise."

There was a veiled surprise with some great relief that Kirk knew he was one of only a very few who would hear it in the, "This is the Enterprise. Nine zero one seven six."

Kirk nodded, a confirmation code only they would know, "Cee Eee Cee X-ray."

"May we beam you aboard, Captain Kirk?"

Kirk looked at the two men and they indicated they would ask. "I am just looking to find that out at the moment." He was sure that Spock would understand and do a scan of the area although he would not know what to look for or why he had asked for it.

The two men in the hut with him looked a one another in surprise and said, "The Council advised you that you could return and are to await them informing you as to when the official meeting with the Ambassador will be held. We are honored to meet one such as you as off-worlders do not survive the hunt. You must be a great hunter to know how to survive a hunt."

Kirk smiled, "I have had experience as both, perhaps too much experience. We will await future contact." He picked up the small microphone, "Enterprise, beam me up."

So many people had said that Vulcans had no emotions but when Kirk materialized aboard the Enterprise he knew how wrong those people were as for the briefest of moments there was a look of love and relief on the face of his First Officer. "If I am correct, Captain, you requested that we scan the area you were in."

"Yes, what did you find?"

"There were two groups of life-forms, there was a group of three in your location and a group of nine approximately one point three eight kilometers south west of your location."

"No, no individual readings not far from where I was?"

"No, Captain, only the three at your location and the nine in the other."

For a moment he was going to protest that something was wrong as it had been, had seemed so real but if there were no other life-forms showing it had to be a hallucination. A hallucination. No. As calmly as he could he looked from Spock to McCoy then back to Spock, "I'll be in my quarters reviewing the events as I am sure we will have to go back down with the officials if need be. I will be ready for a debrief in thirty minutes."

Without waiting for the standard acknowledgment he walked out and went to his quarters. He did not see how Spock looked at McCoy with a raised eyebrow nor how McCoy gave a slight nod. He did not see the look of concern his friends shared. He did not want them to know he had been hallucinating. To admit that would cost him the ship, would put him either in a special care facility or keep him behind a desk after years of being psych tested. He needed to think this whole thing through. He needed to shut out of his mind what he had heard and know about the fate of those who talked of such things as he was sure had happened during the hunt. He was sure they had happened but there was no way they could have.

Once in his quarters he had taken a longer than usual shower then stretched out on his bed while he tried to decide just what had happened. It had been so real and yet Spock had said there were only the three of them and then a group of nine but not a single, isolated, life-form reading as that one would have to have been. He could not, would not, admit to a hallucination as that would get him off the ship and yet it had to have been a hallucination as there was no proof, no readings showing a singular life-form. He just needed time alone to think, to remember. Bones would be able to tell him if he had hit his head hard enough to cause serious temporary confusion when he regained consciousness. That would be it. He had fallen. He had fallen but had no memory of strapping his legs so he could walk without too much pain nor of how he would have known the direction and distance from where he was to the hut. It had to be a hallucination as nobody could have known to call him Captain or Sir. Nobody could have moved so quickly to be so far from where the hut was.

Once Kirk had gone Spock looked at McCoy, "If I may, Doctor, I would like to talk with you, in private."

"Oh course, Spock." they went into a briefing room and McCoy looked at the Vulcan, "What is it?"

* * *

 **A/N** Just like airline pilots, starship captains cannot admit to having hallusincations. Thanks for reading - hope you enjoyed it. Be a bit of a break as got a medical caper to deal with. Stay safe all and HAVE FUN.


	4. Chapter 4

"I find myself at somewhat of a loss at not knowing how to talk about this."

McCoy had noticed how his Vulcan friend had only glanced at him then seemed to study the floor. "What is it, Spock?"

Still looking at the floor Spock started, "While the Captain was missing I am greatly concerned I failed you, McCoy. You were also in emotional turmoil, I was marginally conscious of it and yet I did nothing to give you the comfort and reassurance you gave me. You enabled me to escape from having what Humans call an emotional breakdown on the bridge, you gave me the physical and emotional support I needed. You made it possible for me to regain my control and I did nothing for you."

"Sometimes that happens in a friendship, Spock. There is no," McCoy hesitated as the Vulcan suddenly looked at him as though puzzled, "need to,"

"After seeing me lose control, after how I gripped you, how I held onto you, you would consider me a friend?" Spock slightly shook his head as he had to think of how to get McCoy to understand. "Doctor, I was,".

" **You were just who** and what **I needed at that moment** , at that time, Spock. Did you really not realize I was holding on to you as much as you were holding on to me? Dammit, **I needed you** then and you were there. **I needed to be held** and **you** **held** **me** , I needed to feel I had not lost everything and I could feel you. I know it is illogical but I wanted physical confirmation I was not alone, that I still had somebody who means so much to me and you were that confirmation. Hell, at that moment I needed to feel needed and I felt your need for me. Oh, there are times when your blasted Vulcan aspects annoy me almost to my limits but y **ou are my friend** , Spock, and **I accept all of you** as my friend, unemotional logic talk and all."

In the blue eyes looking at him Spock saw the truth. Often he would forget that the others were there for him, the others seem to think of him not only as a senior officer, as a Vulcan, but as their friend. He had ignored their need for him as well. "I am honored that you still consider me a friend, Doctor, as I consider you one of the few I have."

"You gotta know that Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov are also your friends, they consider you their friend."

"I had hoped that. I must apologize to them for,"

"There is no need to, Spock. They understand, Spock. They know how close you are to Jim, how not being able to do anything would be ripping you apart. Plus they just fell into the routine expected of them. You have already thanked them."

An eyebrow raised as Spock could not remember thanking them, he had gone onto the bridge, "My going to each station was not how I should thank them, Doctor. They saw how I,"

"They saw **their friend** needed a few moments off the bridge and made it seem all routine to the Ambassador and Admiral. You going to acknowledge them when you returned was a way of showing your appreciation for what they did, wasn't it?"

"Yes, but I was also ensuring and verifying the status of the ship before I,"

"Enough, Spock! You admitted you were thanking them. Oh sure, we all you try to camouflage any hint of having feelings from us but **we know you** and **accept you** , **all** **of** **you** , and your ways, Spock." McCoy looked at his Vulcan friend and saw he was slowly accepting what he was being told, "Hell, Spock, if you had not reacted like that you would have had them, and me, really worried. We all know how close you and Jim are and for even a Vulcan not to have some reaction to what we all believed would have astonished us. Think by now we do not know how you two feel about each other? Think we are deaf and blind? Good god, man, we've had more than enough experiences to know what to expect from both of you when the other is hurt or missing."

Spock paused as he remembered how he had seen the way Sulu had been in the Conn when he returned to the bridge and Chekov was at the science station, the way Uhura had nodded to him. He recalled some of the times that McCoy was referring to. Times he had not paused to think about. They did understand. Briefly he closed his eyes and nodded more to himself than McCoy. **They did understand** , **they did know him** , and **they did care about him** as who he was not what he was. A part of him had been aware of that for some time but this had brought it to the forefront of his thinking. **They were his friends** as well, perhaps not as close to him as Jim or even McCoy, but he had to admit to himself that he was aware that he had feelings toward them that was more than just shipmates and he acknowledged that they clearly felt the same towards him.

McCoy stood watching his friend and was relieved to see how the Vulcan was accepting what he was saying, was acknowledging that he did have feelings for those on the bridge. He now had to get that wonderfully logical mind to think of the best way to help Jim as it was clear he was afraid he had seen or experienced something he had not seen or experienced. They all knew that if he had been hallucinating it would have to be reported on his medical records and that would be the end of his career and yet Jim had seemed so certain that there had been another person there with him.

Slowly Spock looked at McCoy, "Thank you, McCoy, for your most welcome support, it has always, as now, been greatly appreciated. We do, now, have a most worrying situation where the Captain believes that there was another being with him during the hunt and yet the scanners prove that such an event is not a possibility. He is, I am sure, acutely aware that should he admit to having and believing in any form of hallucination it would mean the end of his career as a starship Captain, as well as an officer on any ship in the fleet, he would undergo a minimum of ten months intensive testing and observation before being given a strictly administrative position within Starfleet Command, his life in deep space exploration finished. The main problem is not what the Captain believes but if he tells us that he did, in fact, have such a hallucination, we, you and I, are duty bound to inform Command and to immediately relieve him of duty."

"And there was nothing on the scans?"

"I have looked at them five times, Doctor and there is was an active group of nine in one area and the three in the other. There were no lifeforms showing between the two groups."

"No other scans? Why weren't we scanning before? Why weren't,"

"Doctor, we did not know where the Captain had been taken so there was no way to scan for him. If you recall we were not allowed to have transponders on us and only communicator we had with us they took from the Captain and handed to me."

McCoy nodded, "So the others they have hunted would also not have been able to be tracked by their ships either. Wonder how many there have been?"

"That is difficult to even speculate on, Doctor, as we do know of at least the Klingons and Romulans as they did say they had failed."

McCoy rubbed his chin, shook his head and looked at Spock, "You know we do have to confirm with the Captain that he remembers he needs a medical check before he returns to duty."

"I am sure that," Spock stopped as he was suddenly not sure if Kirk would go from his quarters to Sickbay as he had seen an almost haunted look about his eyes when he had seen how McCoy was watching him, as though knowing McCoy would be able to tell if he believed in a hallucination. "As I was about to say, Doctor, I am sure that you and I can escort him to Sickbay where you can give him the examination he should have had when he beamed back aboard."

McCoy just nodded, "Right, let's go." and started for the Captain's quarters knowing what his Vulcan friend had not said yet had been thinking as he had the same concern. It had been most unlike the Captain to delay the medical examination and after he had been so sure there had been somebody else there with him on the hunt had rattled him. That had, he had seen the First Officer's most unVulcan-like reaction, stunned both of them and yet they both had made no demanding nor in the least interrogative comments.

Captain James Kirk had tried to make sense of the hunt. He knew he had to for the debriefing but he was at a total loss as to what he would say as he could not deny that he believed there to be another person with him and yet McCoy's scans proved it could not have been. To say that he was sure that there had been somebody with him when there was no evidence would mean he was hallucinating unless McCoy could medically state that he had been concussed and therefore confused. To even suggest he might have briefly hallucinated would have to be recorded and he would have to be thoroughly be tested by the specialists at Command before he could continue as Captain of the Enterprise, or any ship for that matter.

Only in the sanctuary of his quarters could he allow himself to think how his four officers had died, how he had been told they had been difficult to hunt. He only hoped their deaths had been swift. When he had to meet with the officials he would ask if their bodies could be returned to the ship. Too many things just did not add up for it not have been real and yet the scanners showed there could not have been somebody there. A smile touched his lips as he wondered how those facts would square with Spock's logic.

As though his thoughts of his First Officer had summoned him it had not surprised him when the door to his quarters opened and both Spock and McCoy walked in. It was obvious that they had talked about his mental state just from the way McCoy looked at him.

"Captain, will you please accompany us to Sickbay so that, as per regulations, you are given medical clearance following your time on the planet in an area where you were exposed to natural elements. Although the transporter does have a decontamination factor there is always the possibility of a foreign body of some sort not be detected and neutralized during that process."

All three of them knew Spock was just going by the regulations and only for a moment did Kirk feel a flicker of anger. He had not quite decided how to deal with the possibility of having hallucinated. He saw how McCoy slightly shook his head and how Spock had kept looking at him. No, his friend was looking more into him than at him as though trying to tell him something without saying it. What had he said, _a foreign body_. If he had been helped there could be foreign DNA on him. McCoy was right, Spock could be crafty.

The whole process had taken just over seventy-nine minutes and they were sitting in McCoy's office speculating on what the governing body of Bohana One would think of Kirk having survived the hunt while they awaited the results of what they had sent to the labs for thorough examination.

McCoy was concerned that his Captain and friend believed there had been somebody with him, that he had been hallucinating. The initial examination showed the blow to his head had not been sufficient to cause any lasting damage to his brain although the scans and test results would show if there had been any disruption to his normal thought processes which could cause the momentary belief Kirk may have had when he first regained consciousness. At least Kirk had not openly said that there had been another person there, only verifying there had been nobody else in the area he had been in.

Spock looked at McCoy and could tell he was also relieved that there had been not lasting injury to Jim Kirk's brain and that he, too, had noticed how Kirk had not said a word about believing there had bee somebody with him. He was sure that if another person had been with his friend there would be some DNA on either the Captain or on his clothing which was also being checked for DNA. When he looked at Kirk he could tell his friend had been careful with his wording yet from the look about his eyes showed him that the Human was terrified him had been hallucinating.

Kirk looked from McCoy to Spock and, when he saw understanding in both the blue and dark eyes, he nodded. While he knew, as Spock most likely did, that there was a great likelihood of there not being any other DNA that they could not discount on him. If there was any other DNA it would be that of those from Bohana One as nobody from the ship had been near him. At the back of his mind was that voice saying "Captain" and "Sir", but then that would be what would be expected in a hallucination. As calmly as he could he tried to think of how he would react if there was no DNA and also if the scans proved there had not been enough concussion to cause confusion.

" **Blast it!** What is taking them so long? They have done enough tests like I requested not to have to take this long. I'll just," as McCoy reached out to his intercom it buzzed. "Well, what do you know? They must have known I was going to," he pressed the button and looked from Kirk to Spock and back to Kirk when Uhura's voice came over.

"Is the Captain there? I have an urgent message for him from Bohana One."

"I'm here, Lieutenant. Patch it through." he heard to two clicks that meant she had patched it through, "Kirk here."

"Kirk, this is Brerk Doow, Prime President of Bohana One. You and the two officers who beamed down with you before are to return immediately to Bohana One. Co-ordinates have been sent to your Transport Officer. **You must come now.** "

Kirk looked at McCoy and Spock and saw they were both bewildered, "Should I also get,"

"Just you and the other two officers Kirk. **Now!** Doow out."

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading. Cold stormy mid-winter's day. Take care and HAVE FUN!


	5. Chapter 5

For a moment the three just looked at one another then McCoy said, "Prime President? As in the over-all leader of the planet?"

As they started walking Spock answered, "Yes, Doctor. There are nine presidents representing the nine continents on the planet and every three years they elect a Prime President. The presidents themselves are elected by the five representatives from each country on their continent and those five representatives are elected by the beings in each country who are over the age of seventeen years and deemed to be sound of mind. The presidents are eligible to be elected as Prime President as is any other being on the planet. The process,"

As they entered the Transporter Room McCoy looked from Kirk to Spock, "Spock."

"Yes, Doctor, do you have a question about the government system?"

"No, I just wanted a simple yes or no answer not a detailed breakdown of the planet's governmental system."

"Then should you not have just asked for such an answer? You really must learn to be more exact. You also have not told me of that 'what ifs' you mentioned earlier."

"Why you,"

"Okay," Kirk held up his hand, "you two. **Enough.** We best find out what this is all about." Kirk looked at his Chief Engineer who held out a communicator, "Scotty?"

"Aye, I'll send ye to their co-ordinates in a building. Ye have permission to have a communicator this time."

Kirk took the pro-offered device and nodded, "Only tell our guests if things go wrong."

"Understood. Ye are having a meeting anc can nay be disturbed."

They materialized in a large room where one man stepped forward from a group of four, "Captain Kirk, I am Doow, you must come this way."

The three men who had been with him followed behind them as they left the room. Kirk could see no weapons and noted that both McCoy and Spock were relaxed as they walked along a hall.

"The group who were to hunt you took you into a restricted area where **the hunt is not allowed** , Kirk. It is what some planets call a protected wilderness area with only that hut on one side and about a kilometer and a half from it is a picnic site. A picnic site that has guards to ensure the animals do not get in that area. They took you to that area in particular to have a better hunt than they felt they got with the first hunt. We were not told until the officers at the hut made their report as to you coming from the back. When we later asked the five hunters they confirmed it was the area they had been hunting in. Two of them had so overly enjoyed the hunt of the officers that, when they could not find you after that first hunt had aroused them, they, being the two senior officers on the hunt, led the others to another site. The two said it would have been impossible for you to have survived in that area on your own and we have been told by many who know the area very well, as well as those charged with the care of that wilderness area, that is true. They all agreed that no one person could cross that area from where you entered to the hut on their own. With that being the situation I must ask, and think very carefully before you answer," the man moved to stand right in front of Kirk and looked him directly in the eyes, "Captain Kirk, did you have any assistance?"

A look flashed between McCoy and Spock. A look based on one word, hallucination. If Jim said yes now his career,

"My First Officer, Mister Spock, would say it illogical and I know to admit it will most likely cost me my captaincy but **I believe I might have had assistance** as I **cannot remember** tending my injuries after falling. I first was aware of somebody or something being with me when I fell as a hand stopped me from calling out and I was called 'Captain'. Later I was told exactly how far and in what direction to walk to get to the hut and called Sir." He looked briefly at Spock and McCoy, "If both times were a hallucination I am alive because of it."

The man just nodded, "It is the same on Bohana One, hallucinations cost careers. Those two leader hunters also discovered how breaking rules also costs careers." They started walking again, "They had been in a total bloodlust stupor and, on their way back out of the restricted area, came upon a woman and her two sons having a picnic."

"Oh gawd, **did they kill** ," McCoy started knowing how Kirk would feel if they had killed children in his place.

"No." They paused outside a door and the man looked from McCoy to Spock, and finally to Kirk, "My wife was able to sound an alarm that notified her guards they were under attack. Before their guards got there another got to them and protected them till the security officers arrived." The man slightly shifted his weight but kept looking at Kirk, "The man had serious injuries before he rushed and confronted them, keeping them from my wife and sons till help arrived. My wife told me he was bleeding all over as he rushed at the hunters. She said it seemed to momentarily stun them, it was as though he were a ghost. "

Spock briefly touched McCoy's arm as he had heard the man's breathing change and saw how Kirk's posture had suddenly become stiff as the man opened the door to a medical room, "His body was not found with the three others. He is only just alive and he has," the man took a step aside so Kirk could enter the room yet kept looking directly at Kirk, "been asking for you, his Captain."

Only for six point one eight seconds did Kirk pause at the door to glance at Spock and McCoy. It had not been a hallucination. In the silence they heard a faint voice repeating, "Cap. . .tain? Cap,. . .tain? Cap. . .tain?" and saw one hand reaching out blindly toward them.

Spock broke first from what McCoy would classify as a stupor and quickly walked to the bed and briefly took hold of the officer's reaching hand. "Captain Kirk is," as he felt the fingers grip his he felt the pain slamming into him he knew he had to tell a falsehood. Under that pain he had felt a resignation. It was as though the man was holding on just to know the fate of his Captain. In that moment Spock realized that this was not a time for rank nor for truth, "Glen, this is Spock. Captain Kirk is waiting for you on the Enterprise."

"Mis. . .ter . . . Spock?"

"Yes, you rest. We will immediately transport you," he looked directly at the Prime President who, for a moment looked like he would protest but instead nodded, "to the Enterprise shortly. The Captain will see you there."

"Now?"

"Yes and he will want your report."

"Need. . . tell. . . him."

McCoy had rushed to the bed and slowly waved his scanner over the resting officer and looked at the readings before looking at Spock. It was in that look, the need for immediate action, the uncertainty of the outcome.

"You rest. We'll transport you immediately."

The Prime President nodded to Kirk, "Contact your ship. Go with him and return to tell me his condition and his prognosis. Return, also, with the Ambassador so that he and I can discuss political and trade issues. While you proved that the Federation has men who can survive and outwit our trained hunters he proved the willingness of your people to sacrifice themselves for the lives of others, even those they do not know. We have found the bodies of your other three officers. This hunt will be the last in which deaths of off-worlders will occur. While the carnivorous animals in that area had not started to eat them their bodies had been taken to the various dens."

Even though he was trying to accept all that had happened Kirk did not miss the slight change of expression on Doow's face as he picked up a small card from beside the bed and held it out to McCoy, holding it long enough that McCoy had to look at him, "I was to give this to you. It lists what was found in his systems and what has been done for and to him. My wife has asked if she might be told his name."

Spock looked down at the officer whose hand he was holding, still maintaining his shields as pain was still radiating from him despite McCoy's medications, "His name is Glen Wairshore, he is primarily a senior engineering officer but has a dual position in that he is also a trained and experienced security officer."

Kirk nodded and pulled out the communicator he had brought with him this time as he walked to the bed, "Scotty, beam me, and the three other life forms by me, up and notify Sickbay," he glanced at McCoy who nodded as he looked from the notes to Kirk, "to be ready for an emergency."

"Aye. Energizing now."

While McCoy herded the medical technicians away with Wairstore Kirk just stood on the platform. **It had not been a hallucination**. He had not imagined it. It had been real. The officer had not died. He had heard Captain and Sir. He now heard Spock and Scotty speaking but all he could think was he had not been hallucinating. He had not been alone. He had not been alone then but he suddenly felt a need to be alone and left the Transporter Room. He needed a moment alone to prepare himself to return to that planet.

"Glen was not ta have been there, ye know? Twas only because Grammes and Hanley were poorly that he went. Not even really Security, a damned grand engineer and a sober laddie ta get me home safely. He's in good hands now."

"He is in **the best of hands** , Mister Scott. I understand now why you were particularly disquieted when Doctor McCoy and I returned with the four shirts. You have," Spock hesitated for seven point one nine seconds as he watched Kirk walked out of the room and realized his Captain and friend needed time alone then turned his full attention back to Scotty, "a close working relationship with the man."

"Known Glen for close ta twelve years now, Spock. He's like, well, he's the other side of me as he nay drinks, he is nay a talker, and he'd rather read than socialize but when he does socialize he can talk a grand talk about many a thing. Also such a grand engineer ta watch and ye'd nay believe what he can make with what many would discard. Saved me in more ways and times than I care ta think about but he'd nay say a word about it. I'll go see him when McCoy says I can."

For a moment Spock knew he should tell the Chief Engineer that it was likely that Officer Wairshore would die. It was only right to tell him the extent of the injuries Wairshore had sustained on the hunt, then how helping the Captain had taken more from his reserves of strength, leaving him with just enough to protect the woman and her sons. Instead of saying what he knew he should say he looked at his friend, "I will see you are relieved from duty so that you may spend as much time as you want, and McCoy will allow, to spend with him."

"Thank ye, Spock. I'm sure Glen would thank ye too."

He resisted the almost instinctual reply about there being no need the thank him but he just gave a nod, "I will contact you as soon as McCoy says you can be with him."

He could tell from the nod Scotty gave him before he walked away that the man fully understood what was not said. So many times he could remember when it had been Scotty who had helped him to see and be with Jim when McCoy had him on full life-support. Times when Scotty had stood up to McCoy when McCoy had tried to prevent him from just sitting beside Kirk in Sickbay saying he was what Kirk needed and how even a blind and drunk fool could see it. And he remembered those times when Scotty had had to pull him away from the bed Jim was on and stop him from going into the room that Jim was in. Oddly he acknowledged that he understood the connection that Scotty had with Wairshore and was pleased the Chief Engineer had such a connection with another. No, not a connection but a friendship.

It was the awareness of that connection, that friendship, that made Spock go to Jim's quarters. There had been something in the way he had left the Transporter Room that showed he was still troubled by the recent events and he should have dealt with them before returning to the planet with the Ambassador. When Jim did not open the door Spock did not pause to go in but knew where he would have gone if he had left his quarters.

It had not surprised him when he got to Sickbay to find Kirk standing outside the room McCoy was in. No. Kirk was not actually standing, more leaning against the wall with his arms crossed tightly across his chest, his head slightly bend with his eyes shut, revealing just how deeply concerned his friend was. As he was in his dress uniform it was obvious he had been to his quarters but was drawn to here. When he glanced into the surgical room he could tell from how McCoy was repeatedly checking the readings he was taking of Officer Wairshore, how he placed his hand about Wairshore's face, that he, too, was deeply concerned. As he looked at McCoy he knew the man would use all his knowledge, skills, and, dare he say it, belief in luck, to help Wairshore.

Deciding he would see McCoy later he quietly walked over to Jim, "There is little either of us can do here, Jim. You do have the Ambassador and Admiral to deal with. I will let you know of McCoy's findings and Wairshore's prognosis."

"I need," in the hazel eyes that looked at him, when Kirk opened his eyes and looked at him, the Vulcan saw the war between great pain and relief he had suspected as well as the unasked question, "You, you will tell me,"

"As soon as there are any developments I will immediately contact you. I also have to contact Mister Scott as they have a decade long relationship."

"He, Wairshore, isn't Security, is he? It is like you told Doow, right?"

"He has worked Security and is highly trained in it but he is stationed in Engineering. Mister Scott informed me that he was only there as two officers who were on the roster were both unfit so he took the place of the initially indisposed officer." for a moment dark eyes saw reflected about the hazel eyes what Jim was feeling, a strange relief that it had been Wairshore who was there. Spock did not know if Kirk were feeling it because he had not been alone or because, like him, of the possible outcome had it been any other officer. "Mister Scott also informed me that he is also a very good engineer with hidden skills."

"Hidden skills?"

The way Jim had moved his head to look at him and the inflection in his voice let Spock know that his statement had had the effect he had hoped. He had only mentioned being told of Wairshore's skill as a possible way of temporarily distracting Jim from what might have been. The way Jim was looking at him confirmed that he had got his attention, "It appears that he finds uses for those bits that others would discard."

It was a welcome relief to see his Captain and friend smile again, "And all these years I have thought of Scotty as our only canny engineer." When Kirk started to walk away it was with that confidence Spock had hoped to see, "I believe Doow wanted me to return with the Ambassador."

"Do you want me to,"

"I want you to stay here, Spock. I want you to contact me when McCoy tells you his prognosis as Doow also wants to know that." Although it was what he has suspected Kirk to say he felt that someone should go with him, Kirk smiled at him as though knowing what he was thinking, "I'll take Sulu with me. It has been a few missions since he has had this sort of experience. We'll also have Admiral Quilton with us. We are just to escort the Ambassador there and make sure all the arrangements and accommodation are what is expected. We should not be long. If there are any changes Sulu will contact you."

Spock had seen how Kirk had looked back at the door to Sickbay, "You need not be concerned, Captain. Surely you know that he is getting the best of care and should his condition change I will immediately contact you. He will not be alone. As soon as the good doctor says he may Mister Scott will be sitting with him. I have already informed Mister Scott of this and know that McCoy would be in full agreement."

Alone. For a moment Kirk closed his eyes. He had not been alone. It had not been a hallucination. He now had to leave Wairshore. As he took a deep breath he looked at Spock, "I am sure you will ensure he is not alone and will mind the ship while I am away. I will talk with him when I return."

Just for a moment, as it had been with Scotty, Spock had felt inclined to point out the possibility of Wairshore dying but again he did not and simply said, "He will not be alone, Jim. I am sure McCoy will let you be with him on your return."

"Fine. While you go to the Bridge I will go with our guests. I will be relieved when this mission is over. We should not be long."

"If memory serves the last time we delivered an Ambassador you and I were absent from the ship for eighty-seven point nine one standard minutes. We would have had to stay even longer had Sulu not fabricated an excuse, with Uhura's assistance, that our hosts believed was a matter we had to urgently attend to."

That brought back the smile to his friend's eyes as he had hoped it would, "And the look on your face when Scotty had to explain the words to the muckin' of Geordie's byre."

"I believe he had to explain it not just to me but to all of the bridge crew. It was," Spock nodded as he saw his friend, his Captain, fully return, "a most unusual matter we had to return to."

"And not at all the sort of song I would have ever expect Scotty to teach Uhura." Kirk smiled at his friend, "I will make sure I am not away long this time."

"McCoy will notify me and I will advise you as soon as I am informed."

"If he starts to,"

"Jim," Spock saw a hint of uncertainty on his friend's face, "I will notify you of **any change**."

Kirk nodded and smiled, "I'll go do my duty, Spock. You just keep an eye on everything for me up here." Not waiting for Spock to comment Kirk walked away, knowing his friend would more than keep an eye on things for him.

It was eight point three eight minutes after Kirk had left that McCoy walked up to the Vulcan aware of how the man was good at reading him, Jim, and four others. While Spock was good at reading them he had had years of experience reading the Vulcan and knew that that slight movement of the Vulcan's lips let him know Spock was aware of how Wairshore was only just clinging to life.

"I know you don't drink, Spock, but after that I need one, maybe two. Come on, I'll tell you so you can let Jim know." In his office McCoy got out two glasses and, much to Spock's surprise, two bottles. As McCoy poured the second glass from the second bottle McCoy smiled, "No alcohol, Spock. A fruit cocktail."

Spock took the glass and looked at the liquid as he swirled it in the glass and then smelled it. "A version of Human citrus fruit juice. Thank you."

McCoy nodded, "To the safe return of Jim and for Wairshore hanging on." the glasses clinked together and as he looked at the Vulcan McCoy realized they are both thinking how without Wairshore Jim would have died and if he died now Jim would blame himself. After the second swallow McCoy sighed, "You can tell Jim that he is holding on and that there is nothing more I can medically do for him."

For a moment Spock hesitated then reached out to the communication unit on McCoy's desk. "Enterprise to Kirk, Enterprise to Kirk."

Almost immediately there was, "Kirk here, go ahead Enterprise."

"You may inform Doow that Wainshore is in intensive care. Doctor McCoy is unable to be more specific other than to say he is still with us and holding on."

While others would not have heard it Spock heard and understood all that was behind Jim's, "Thank you two. On time here. Kirk out."

"Now, Doctor, you and I still have one matter to clarify," Spock did not stop McCoy from pouring them both a second drink from their respective bottles.

"We do?"

"Yes," Spock looked at his friend, "You still have to inform me of what those ' **What ifs** ' you had earlier were and if they still, even now, apply to whatever the situation was."

* * *

A/N Winter is here in full force. Thanks for reading. Enjoy. hAVE FUN!


	6. Chapter 6

Almost as soon as he, Sulu, and the two others with them, materialized in a large room on Bohana One Kirk saw Doow approach him with a woman at his side.

"Captain Kirk, this is my wife." Doow totally ignored the others and Kirk noticed how Sulu was clearly fully alert although to others he would appear relaxed, "When I told her you would be able to tell me of the status of your officer who saved her and our sons she insisted on meeting you and being here to hear his fate."

"While I am pleased to meet you," Kirk saw how the yellow eyes were almost locked on his face as though reading his feelings, "I am still awaiting news regarding Officer Wairshore's condition. My First Officer is to inform me as soon as my Chief Medical Officer has finished fully examining and treating him."

"As I have told my husband, he was badly hurt before he came to our rescue and I feared he would die before he could be helped by his own people. He never said a word yet it was clear that he would protect us," she glanced briefly at her husband then back at Kirk, "that he would die before he let the hunters get to us. It was also clear that they were determined to get to us and yet they hesitated as though he were a ghost then just the two leaders attacked him before the officials arrived."

"Captain Kirk," Doow looked at him and nodded once, "the fate of the two leaders depends on what happens with Officer Wairshore. The others will be punished but as they did not take part in the attack in the wilderness area itself their punishment will not be as severe."

Doow then looked at the Admiral and Ambassador and nodded at them, "Gentlemen, shall we go talk with the others about the establishment of the housing and offices for the Ambassador as well as signing of the necessary documentation.?"

They had gone to the apartment that was to be the Ambassadorial address and it was to Federation standards. When they met the higher echelon of the government of Bohana One it was clear that they were pleased to be joining the Federation and gradually the conversations started to center more around the Ambassador. Kirk was just standing with Sulu watching the reception when he heard, "Enterprise to Kirk, Enterprise to Kirk."

Almost immediately Sulu looked at Kirk and Doow quickly turned and took the eight steps over to where Kirk stood. Kirk flipped open his communicator, "Kirk here, go ahead Enterprise."

There was a moment of hesitation in Spock's voice and Kirk saw the concern on Sulu's face that he knew was a reflection of his own. "You may inform Doow that Wainshore is in intensive care. Doctor McCoy is unable to be more specific other than to say he is still with us and holding on."

Kirk saw that Sulu understood what was not being said yet possibly did not hear in that baritone voice what he had heard. He had heard how Spock was also letting him know McCoy was feeling furious at himself for not being able to do more but that he would do all he could do dissuade that thinking and to give what support he could to McCoy. Still looking at Sulu Kirk replied, "Thank you two. On time here. Kirk out."

At that moment Kirk wanted nothing more than to return to the ship but knew his duty and he could tell from his stance that Sulu felt the same. Doow walked over to them, "May I ask if that was with regard to Officer Wairshore?"

"That was my First Officer advising me that Officer Wairshore is still alive and that his prognosis is unknown."

"Captain," Kirk turned and saw Doow's wife, "would it be permitted for me to see him before you leave?"

"I will ask my Chief Medical Officer when I return."

"I also would like to see and thank him personally."

Without showing how thankful he was for a way to leave early Kirk just nodded, "Then if you will excuse me, Sir, I will let the Admiral and Ambassador know that I am returning to my ship and tell my Chief Medical Officer that you would like to see Officer Wairshore." Even as he said it Kirk knew he would not be popular with either of the two but he personally had always disliked having to be at such functions.

"There is no need, Captain Kirk, as I know of how senior ranking officers can refuse such a request from a junior officer when there is neither danger nor imminent threat involved. It is much the same in any form of military or peace keeping organization on almost every known planet. As there is neither danger nor imminent threat at this time and having seen, as I am sure your have seen, how the Admiral has aspirations of advancement I believe he would refuse your request as he would show he is not in control. He will not refuse if I inform him that you are returning to personally find out something for myself and my wife."

Silently Kirk hoped his relief did not show as he said, "Thank you. I would like to formally introduce you to Lieutenant Sulu, my senior helmsman." Sulu nodded to the man and Doow nodded back. "After I have spoken with my Chief Medical Officer I will contact him and he will pass on the information to you."

"That will be appreciated, Captain."

Kirk and Sulu walked to the transporter platform and Kirk handed Sulu the communicator. "Enterprise, this is Sulu. Please beam up the Captain."

"Enterprise here. Energizing now."

McCoy sat quietly looking into the last of his drink. " _What ifs_ ", gawd, how many he had had when he had first said that to Spock. Now he only had a few. To a Human they would seem almost logical concerns but to a Vulcan, or a particular half-Vulcan. He sighed and looked at his friend, "Then I had several and I was wondering along the lines of what if Jim died, what if he were alive but permanently either mentally or physically impaired to such a degree that he had to leave Starfleet, what if his death pushed you right over the edge, what if the hunts were really illegal, what if,"

"Doctor," Spock interrupted as he was sure the good doctor would keep listing all of his ' what ifs' as he I understand now that old Earth statement about asking what if being as pointless as being asked how long a piece of string is. You mentioned you did not have as many now as you did then. May I ask what are the ones you still are unsure of?"

"Well, Spock, there's really only three now. One is what if Wairshore dies and I cannot get Jim to see it was not his fault? The second is what if Wairshore's injuries see him off the ship and out of Starfleet? And thirdly what if Wairshore fully recovers but Jim feels he is beholden to him? " McCoy finished his drink then looked at Spock, "Well, how would I deal with them?"

At first Spock wanted to say that it was illogical to contemplate or be concerned about events that might not happen. He knew that McCoy was more than capable of dealing with any of those three events yet as he looked at his friend he knew they were troubling him. "Doctor, should Wairshore die you and I, with the help of the crew, will help Jim accept that his death was not his fault. I am sure that should his injuries see Wairshore off the ship you will have a way of ensuring he has the best of care off the ship. And from what I know of Wairshore he is not the sort of Human who would want Jim to feel he owes him anything for his actions."

"Tell me, Spock, do you really think Jim would accept it? I mean you saw how he was when he thought Wairstone had been a hallucination. To first believe that he was dead then to find out Wairstone had saved him. You know how Jim is about the crew. Hell, if he knew how Wairstone really was right now he'd," for a moment McCoy closed his eyes and shook his head.

" **He'd what** , Bones?" Kirk walked into the room and looked first at Spock and then at McCoy.

Kirk had nodded to Scotty when he materialized and had headed for Sickbay. If there had been any problems he knew Scotty would have told him so he knew Spock had things under control and that he would most likely find his Vulcan friend with McCoy as he had seen the concern about the dark eyes when he had first held Wairshore's hand. He had heard McCoy saying, "Hell, if he knew how Wairstone really was right now he'd," and looked at his Chief Medial Officer and friend waiting for an answer. He was not sure who they had been talking about but was certain it was either Wairstone or himself.

* * *

A/N VERY COLD here at the moment - think the tiny mind is frozen as well as fingers hence a short chapter. Thanks for reading. Enjoy and take care.


	7. Chapter 7

The Captain of the Enterprise did not miss the look that his Chief Medical Officer and his First Officer exchanged. It was a look he knew only too well meant that the two of them were keeping something from him. After all he had just been through the last thing he wanted or would accept was them keeping something from him. "Well, Doctor McCoy, **I am waiting for you to tell me** not only what Wairstone's present medical status is but also just how you expect me to react."

Spock was aware of how Jim just stared at McCoy as though totally unaware of his presence. They had not been advised that the Captain had returned and now he stood just staring at McCoy awaiting a reply. A quick glance at McCoy let him know that the man was not only stunned at the appearance of the Captain but also at a loss of what to say. If he had taken time to analyze his action he might find it was most likely emotionally based on sympathy for the situation McCoy was in but he knew it was the only logical thing he could do to remind the two they were friends and that McCoy would have told Kirk at a more appropriate time.

"I believe you will find, Jim, that McCoy knows how you would find very Human way of blaming yourself for Wairstone's present condition for which **you are not responsible**. I am also certain that he is unsure how to tell you that to do so is not only illogical because of the many random factors that are unknown at the moment but also because of his concerns for your own present state of physical and mental health which are still in the process of recovery from the hunt." He was satisfied that his words were reaching deeper into Kirk's mind as evidenced by the slight nod of Jim's head and how he had not immediately turned to face him. " **He has made no mention** , thus far, **on your medical records** with regard to the possibility you having suffered from a period of **on-going hallucinations**. As you are well aware, Jim, per the regulations he is required to report any occurrences of a commanding officer either admitting to having hallucinated or to be suspected, by the Chief Medical Officer or other senior ranking officer, of having had repeated periods of what could be considered hallucinations."

" **I never**," Kirk started then stopped and Spock saw he suddenly remembered what he had said to Doow.

"Captain, you did admit to Prime President of Bohana One a belief of having had help on the planet before it was proven which, in itself, constitutes hallucinating. By regulations, as I have already stated, Doctor McCoy should enter it in your medical records." Kirk now looked at him and Spock saw the realization and the question he had hoped to see, "Should it be known by Command that you had a period of hallucinating, irrespective of its duration, that your Chief Medical Officer knew about and did not report then **you both** would not only be immediately and permanently removed from all active duty but also **dishonorably discharged** from Starfleet."

"Your report would have to," Kirk started then stopped as Spock continued.

"I have made mention in my report of the incident only that you were not alone in the hunt." He paused and saw Kirk realize how factual but vague such a statement was, "I am not as qualified to comment on your mental status as McCoy is and the only reason I can surmise for him not stating what you told Doow is," he quickly glanced from Kirk to McCoy then back to Kirk, "based on something not covered by Starfleet regulations."

For five point eight one seconds Spock looked into the hazel eyes of his friend and his Captain and saw the man see the unsaid and give the slightest of nods.

"Captain, there has been no significant change to Wairstone's condition, he is still what Doctor McCoy would most likely classify as seriously critical but he is still alive. There is nothing more that can be done for him at this stage but to wait. All that any of us can really do for him now is to wait, to go about our duties and to wait." Spock saw Kirk's shoulders slightly slump and how McCoy was watching him, "I do believe McCoy will allow one member of the crew at a time to be with him as it does seem that Humans not only recover better if they are conscious of the closeness of somebody familiar but also it seems to make the person sitting beside the patient believe their presence is vital to the patient's recovery."

"Wait." Kirk had half-muttered and half whispered it at he looked at Wairstone. He always felt so helpless when he had to wait beside an injured officer, especially an officer he owed so much to. All those times with.

A long fingered hand gripped his shoulder and he looked into dark eyes showing a deep understanding, "As I have witnessed over many occasions such as this you tend to let your emotions cloud your thinking unless you are first and foremost concentrating on your duties."

McCoy half-smiled at him, "And you cannot tell me, Spock, that all those times when Jim has been hurt and you have insisted on siting beside him that you did not feel you **and** **only you** could be there for him, that he needed you to be there, that other officers could fulfill your duties ."

"You know me too well for me to dispute that, Doctor. I was merely stating that you will, most likely, allow the Captain to sit with Wairstone when he has the time on the proviso he does not ignore his own well being or his duties." He looked from McCoy to Kirk, "The Captain will not be the only one who will sit with Wairstone as I know that Mister Scott will want to spent time with him as will I."

"I guess we will have to let McCoy tell us when who can be with him." Kirk turned slightly to look fully at McCoy, "I did tell Doow that I would see if you would allow him and his wife to just see Wairstone. It seems to be important to them."

McCoy looked from Kirk to Spock and saw the answer there, "It would be," he smiled as he turned to look back at Kirk and slightly smiled, "only logical to do so as we are to leave only as soon as the Ambassador is all settled in. How is that going?"

"As far as I know he has settled in as he went with the officials and did not come charging back so that is usually an indication that all is well." Jim Kirk remembered a few of these trips when the officials they were to leave on a new member planet wanted to go back with them and had made no secret of it by almost rushing back to the ship. "He also has not sent any message to get him out of there. I better go let our hosts know they can come up and see Wairshone but can I look in on him first?"

McCoy's only reply was to step aside enough to indicate to his friend he could go into the Intensive Care Unit.

While he was aware of both his friends watching him Kirk walked over to the bed and knew that the two watching him would have seen how he hesitated as he took those last three steps closer to the bed. It had been in those last three steps that he remembered the fear he had felt before he felt that arm around him and that hand over his mouth. In his mind he had envisaged a man as solid as Scotty with long arms and hands like Spock's and on the bed he saw a man perhaps as tall as Spock and perhaps a few pounds heavier but nowhere nearly as solid as Scotty and with fingers about this size of his own. While the being who had helped him had seemed so strong, sure, and in control Kirk realized, as he looked at the man, just how wrong he had been in man's physical appearance. Looking at the tubes helping his officer recover also showed how wrong he had been about the man being in control as the tubes seemed to almost ensnare him. For just a moment he closed his eyes. Those tubes spoke so clearly of just how serious Wairstone's condition was as McCoy did not usually use what he called "old fashioned but very effective methods from the late twentieth century". It was difficult to accept that this man, this officer, had been the able to restrain him, bandage him, obviously carry him, and get him close to the hut was now so helpless, so dependent on not only others but also machinery.

He opened his eyes and carefully, almost fearfully for some reason, reached out and lightly touched the side of Wairstone's face, "You and I will have a long talk when you are up to it. Your actions in saving me need to be addressed. I am very grateful that you did so but at what cost to yourself? That woman with the children you saved was the wife and sons of the Prime President of Bohana One and he and his wife will be here shortly to see you. They will not stay long. You just rest and let Doctor McCoy take care of you. I will come back later to talk with you."

"Don't look so worried, Bones. I will explain his condition to them and ensure they do not tire him."

"I would feel much better with sone security in here."

"Doctor McCoy, **I will be here. They will do him no harm**." There was that certainty in the baritone voice and McCoy felt the strange chill he often had when Spock spoke in that tone, it was not quiet a threat but was a promise. McCoy looked from Kirk to Spock and saw a reflection of that statement in the eyes and realized that the would rather have this one Vulcan than all the officers in Security.

As Kirk walked to the Transporter Room he flicked open his communicator, "Kirk to Sulu, come in Sulu."

"Sulu here, Sir."

"Spock and McCoy are with him and the crew will be allowed to be with him but you can bring our guests up. McCoy has okayed their visit. I will meet them and you in the Transporter Room."

"Understood. Thank you, Sir. Sulu out."

When he walked into the Transporter Room he saw the look Mister Scott have him and he just nodded back, "He's got McCoy and Spock in with him."

"Then the lad's in the best of hands. Are we expecting guests, Sir? "

"Yes. On Sulu's signal when he contacts you."

* * *

 **A/N** Thanks for reading. Winter-Spring battle going on in the garden but am winning a few battles, or I like to think I am. Take care and HAVE FUN!


	8. Chapter 8

Kirk felt himself stand straighter as Brerk Doow, Prime President of Bohana One, and his wife, beamed aboard, and noted that the wife was holding a small box.

"Welcome aboard the Enterprise. This is Commander Montgomery Scott, my Chief Engineer."

A smile seemed to light up the wife's face as she looked at Scotty and nodded, "You are the one he called Scotty. You are his friend. Right after the attack he said that Scotty would take him home."

"Aye, we are friends and he is home now. Tis grand ye have come to see him."

"I have some native herbs that will help counter the poisons in his systems that are caused by plants on our planets. While I am certain your medical facility would have the best and latest in pharmaceuticals I was not sure if your doctors would have these medications that do no harm to the body as they clear the toxins from it. Many of the manufactured medicines cure the ailment they are given for yet damage other parts of the body. As these plants are native to our planet I have also brought some seeds your botanical section might like as well as detailed instructions as to how to make various teas and medications from them for many ailments."

"I thank you for them on behalf of the crew of the Enterprise now, if you will follow me," Kirk started towards the door, "I will take you to our Sickbay and you can talk with my Chief Medical Officer who is with him."

When they arrived at Sickbay it had been seeing how Spock stood looking down at Wairshore and how McCoy looked from Wairshore to Spock and then to him that made Kirk pause mid-step for a moment. For that split second he was sure that something had happened or that words had been exchanged till he looked again at how Spock was standing. How many times he had awoken on a bed in Sickbay to find his Vulcan friend standing just like that. A living monument to protection, care, and something deeper than companionship. As soon as he saw them Kirk saw that inscrutable facade almost audibly click into place.

"Prime President of Bohana One, I am pleased to introduce you to my First Officer, Mister Spock, and my Chief Medical Officer, Doctor Leonard McCoy. Gentlemen, this is Prime President of Bohana One, Doow, and his wife."

"My friends just call me Doow and the actions of you, Captain Kirk, and your crew have shown you are friends."

"I am sure I speak for the Captain and the crew of the Enterprise, Sir, when I say we are honored."

"I was not sure if you would be having difficulty with his treatment." the wife held out the box to McCoy.

"Well," he looked at Kirk then back at the woman, "it does seem that if I try to deal with the poison with what I have and know that some other problem arises."

"Then these may be of use. As I told Captain Kirk, they are the plants used to make the poison used on the weapons and we have found using them as teas, as a drawing salve, and in compresses they will get the toxins from the body without harming another part of the body." As both McCoy and Spock looked into the box she continued, "I would advise you to wear gloves or not to touch the plants until they have been boiled as they do cause a rash with welts. You will also find in there instructions in there to show and explain how best to use them as well as seeds for your botanical area. It has been found that it is best for the patient, even at the stage he appears to be in, when the leaves are used in all three ways at the one time as it takes care of all internal systems through the tea, draws the poison back to point of entry, and soothes the pain at that point of entry."

"Does sortta look like poison ivy in a way."

"Yes, Doctor, but clearly it is not an ivy if you will notice," only Kirk loudly clearing his throat halted their discussion. With having known and studied his Vulcan friend for as long as he had Kirk was sure he was the only one to see the chagrin in his friend's stance and face when Spock looked at him.

"I apologize for my rudeness in not thanking you for these," Spock looked from Kirk to the woman to her husband and then back to the woman, "It was most thoughtful of you to bring them to us to use on Officer Wairshore. The medications we have been using seem to have only been maintaining him."

"That is what the other methods of treatment for the poison does - just maintains the patient while it slowly drains all the patient's reserves then attacks the main organs till death occurs. This attacks the poison and neutralizes it. You will have to closely monitor him as it does cause massive evacuation of liquids and semi-solids from his body through all the ways liquids and semi-solids can be expelled from the body." Only then did she look from Spock to McCoy, "He will need your assistance at those times as the first of the evacuations are usually explosive and prolonged, he will be totally exhausted and most helpless, very much like a newborn. It is most unpleasant."

"But it is effective? It will save his life?" McCoy kept looking at the woman as though seeing something the others did not see, hearing what others did not hear.

"You may find that that depends a great deal on his physical constitution, his mental state, and his will." the woman looked from McCoy to Kirk and then to Spock before back to McCoy, "It also depends on the assistance he has both during and for some time after the evacuations."

"I can assure you that he will," McCoy started but the woman shook her head and help up a hand.

"While I am sure you have encountered a patient having evacuation problems I think it is unlikely you have encountered the type of evacuation that he will experience with this. It causes the whole body to violently contort as it tries to rid itself of the substances and he will have to either be tightly secured with double restraints or you will have to have at least six to eight others in holding him and keeping not only his mouth clear but also the other exit sites as well. As I said it will be most unpleasant, it will be most unpleasant for those who help you with him, it will be a form of torture for him. He will be aware of all that is happening to him but totally helpless to do anything about it. He will be in great pain throughout his body as the tea reacts with the poison and his body reacts. Many have been conscious enough during this to ask to be allowed to die because of the pain."

Spock watched as McCoy nodded then looked at Kirk before looking at him and saw the unasked question and the understanding in the blue eyes. Knowing the doctor as well as he did Spock appreciated that McCoy had sought his thoughts in this way they had so often employed over the years. McCoy had known he would help but did not want to have him deal with the pain Wairshore would experience. He knew that McCoy knew that no matter what the personal cost he would want to help Wairshore however he could after all he gone through to save Jim.

McCoy gave him the slightest of nods and looked back at the woman. "I can assure you that there are many on the crew of this ship who will help and will not let him die without us doing everything we can to save his life."

"And I know he will fight to live, Doctor McCoy. I saw what he would do for others he owed nothing to and he seemed to also think of his duty."

She looked at Kirk and he saw the certainty in her look, "Captain Kirk, if what I know about officers who have been off a ship is true they are to make a report to their senior officer on their return to their ship. Is this correct."

"Yes, that is standard procedure."

"Then," she looked at Spock, "I believe that he will believe it is his duty to make a report and as he has not had time to do this he will fight to live to give that report if for nothing else. You are one raised to hold duty higher than others, do you believe the same?"

For a moment Spock hesitated as he thought of Wairshore and what he knew of the man and his dedication to the ship and, more importantly to him, to the Captain. He had risked so much saving Jim, "He would want to give his report."

The woman kept looking at him,"Good, for it will be on you that the mantle of the treatment be continued falls upon when he begins to dry retch after discharging old blood and the base of the poison. It will be for you to insure that they do not stop until he naturally collapses into a deep sleep, freed from being the possession of the poison. He will appear to ask, beg for it to stop and they may want to stop but you must make them continue." The woman seemed to study him for a moment longer and he saw the truth in what she said. He saw what she was not saying.

She had clearly known just from observing them that both Jim and McCoy would want to stop should Wainstone show signs of being aware of what was being done to him and ask them, beg them, to stop. It was clear she had realized that McCoy and Jim would not want to continue once Wainstone asked them to stop and he would have to make sure they continued till he let sleep claim him. He knew he would be able to for it was nothing compared to what Wainstone had done for him, for McCoy, for the ship. Almost in unison he nodded with her. She then looked at McCoy and then at Kirk before looking back at McCoy.

"Then we will leave now so that you can start the treatment. He is still not too far in the grips of the poison. He will be remembered by us. He is fortunate to have senior crew such as yourselves. "

"I must correct you there," Kirk looked at the woman then at McCoy and Spock before back to her, "It is the senor crew who are fortunate to have officers such as him."

"There is no need to show us personally to the transporter, one of your officers can do that while you start his treatment. May your gods be with you."

After the couple had left Sick Bay McCoy was quickly giving orders and both Spock and Kirk were quick in following them. It had not only taken Kirk longer than the other two to be able to do anything at the start as he had not realized the full extent of the injuries to his officer, had not wanted to think of how much of that damage he had caused. It had only been Spock's voice that jolted him back to what had to be done. "Jim, do not think, just do what Doctor McCoy tells you to do as he tells you. Just act do not allow yourself to think."

They kept working, ignoring the stench and the way Wainstone's body twitched and struggled against the slight restraints. It was when Wainstone started begging them to stop that both Jim and McCoy had stopped. When the woman had said it would happen Spock had not believed her but then he had never heard a man plead the way Wainstone was, begging from the depths of the pain. The pain. That was it. It was not Wainstne but the pain. The woman had said he would appear to not that he would. She had also mentioned the dry retching that had just started and how he would still be the possession of the poison.

"Okay, Spock, you can stop now." McCoy had come to stand by him as he kept working on cleaning Wainstone, wiping down his perspiring body.

He was aware of Jim waking towards him as well, "Bones is right, Spock. We are only hurting him more. Just listen to him."

Spock could not deny that there was the sound of pain, deep and real pain, in the sound coming from Wainstone but he knew the man, he knew the sound of his voice, and he knew what the woman had said. It was not Wainstone's voice. "Jim, Captain, we have to continue. He is,"

"He is in too much pain, Spock."

"We must,"

"Doctor, I am the Fist Officer and I,'

"First Officer Spock, this is my Sick Bay. Do I have to order you out of here?"

"No, Doctor McCoy, all you have to do is listen to the sound and think of what the woman said."

McCoy took another step closer and glared at Spock and the Vulcan saw the pain, confusion, and how close the man as from giving up.

"Damn it! She is not a doctor. Get out of here if you are so damned unfeeling and cold-blooded! Get out!"

* * *

Real life gets in the way way too often at the moment. Thanks for reading. Enjoy.


	9. Chapter 9

Spock could see beyond the fury in his friend as McCoy glared at him. He could see the man was looking for a reason he could fully grasp in this emotional moment. "But she has had for more experience with cases like this, Doctor. This is a poison foreign to our known sciences. Think, Doctor, think of what she said. Think of what she said to me. Do you not believe one can be possessed by a poison?"

"Of course there are some," the anger had left the blue eyes as McCoy looked at him then turned and looked at Kirk as he picked up another cloth to wipe Wainstone's body, "Well, don't just be standing there, Jim. We gotta keep this up till he wins his fight with that damned poison."

"Bones?"

"She said that he will be the possession of the poison till he collapses. The possession of the poison, Jim. We have to keep going. It's still not out of him yet. Well, don't be just standing there!"

That seemed not only to draw Kirk back to the task at hand but also from where his mind had started to go. He had stood looking at Wainstone and thinking over how his life would have been so different had his officer not done what he did. Thought of how he would have died. He thought of the times he and Wainstone had had talks about Wainstone's actions on some missions that he had not reported largely because to do so would have implicated himself as the reasons such actions had taken place.

As he watched the body under the cloth he was using to wipe it with contort Kirk silently asked the gods to let him talk with this man again. He remembered all that this officer had said to him down there and only now realized there had been so much pain in the voice. Pain that had not been evident when he had first heard, _"Captain, do not move . . . nor make a sound."_ but that it was more even more strained later when he had said, _"You've been . . . out of it . . . all night. I've done . . . all I can to get . . . you so you can . . . follow a track I . . . have made to a hut. You should . . . be able to . . . contact the ship . . . from there, Sir."_ and clearly the pain must have almost been unbearable when he had said, _"At a steady . . . pace go one eighty-seven . . . paces straight . . .ahead. Bent branches . . . weeds point way. Clear. Go now, Sir."_ Then somehow to have found the will to follow the hunters who had been after him and save the woman and her children before letting the poisons possess him.

He was pleased to notice how the body was not as restive as before and was, after one convulsion that had both McCoy and Spock holding him down, now at rest. He was aware of Spock looking at him as McCoy waved the scanner over Wainstone three times and then nodded, "Okay, I can get M'Benga in to look after him while we all get cleaned up and some rest."

"Jim?" He felt the long fingers on his shoulder as he turned and looked at Spock. Nobody could tell him Vulcans did not have feelings. There was so much love and concern in the dark eyes he almost choked as he nodded.

"I'm fine, Spock. I'll, I'll just wait till M'Benga gets here." Kirk saw the moment of conflict in his Vulcan friend before there was the slightest of nods, "I'll catch up with you and Bones after M'Benga gets here.'

Spock started to turn but stopped as he heard Kirk very softly say, "I do not want you to be alone. I, I left you alone down there. I, I left you. A, a Cap, a Captain is," he turned to see his Captain and friend with a hand lightly touching Wainsone's face with his head bowed and slightly shaking and his eyes closed with the hint of tears about them.

Very slowly and gently Spock took Kirk's hand in his own and looked at Kirk when his friend turned to look at him, seldom had he seen such raw deep hurt and self-blame on his friend's face. It took him eight point one nine seconds to regain control of his own emotions before he spoke, knowing he had to reach his friend, reach deep into his friend yet still keep it official. It was clear something very emotional was in conflict in his friend and he needed to be away from here and away from rank and duty.

Spock swallowed to calm his own emotions then spoke firmly yet gently "Jim, he will not be alone. Doctor M'Benga will be with him and when he is finished and, when I know you are resting in your quarters, I will come back and be with him. You are not the only one who left him down there. Nurse Chapel can be with him while I escort you to your quarters."

"McCoy?"

Spock had hoped Jim would not ask about McCoy so soon. When he had left the room with McCoy he had waited in McCoy's office with him until McCoy had contacted M'Benga and then quickly applied just enough pressure to McCoy's shoulder to put him into a light sleep, eased him onto the fold-out cot, watched as Nurse Chapel gave him a look of total understanding as she put a blanket over the doctor and started to follow him as he returned to the emergency trauma room. "I persuaded him to rest as well, Jim." It was not totally a lie, more what Jim would call a redirection of the truth. "I will escort you to your quarters now. Nurse Chapel is here."

Kirk was aware that Spock was walking just that quarter step behind him, that quiet support that he had been for so long and so many times when he had needed that quiet presence. It was as they were walking to his quarters that he realized they had not talked, it was then he realized he had not spoken with his friend about how this must have been so very hard on him. Oh, they had exchanged the official type words but they had not really talked with each other, not about what needed to be said. He had been glad that McCoy had been with Spock while he had been on the planet being hunted but knew that this special being would have been enduring a Vulcan version of hell. He also wanted his friend to understand what he had seen in the room when he had touched Wainstone.

Once in Kirk's quarters Spock was, if he would admit it even to himself, stunned to see how Kirk just stood looking totally lost in a very familiar place. It was clear that now, as some part of Jim knew he was safe, he could just mentally sort through all that had happened and as he was doing that he was remembering things that horrified him, frightened him. Spock saw him clench his fists, bite his bottom lip as he closed his eyes, bow his head as tears started to fall, and his shoulders started to shake.


	10. Chapter 10

While Spock knew he had seen his Captain and friend emotionally unsettled on several occasions he also knew he had seldom seen him this emotionally unstable within himself. It was clear that whatever had happened down on the planet had more deeply affected Jim than many things before had. As soon as he saw Jim's shoulder's start to shake he took the two steps that closed the physical distance between them, making sure his shielding was ready for the onslaught of emotions he knew would try to overtake him. The emotions from Kirk, as Kirk quickly and unashamedly hugged him in a tight embrace as the tears came, were not an onslaught as such but an all consuming fire of agony that almost shattered his shields. He found himself marveling that his friend had been able to bear so much for so long.

So much pain and guilt mixed with a fear. Fear? He stilled his mind, yes a fear. An odd fear and he held his friend in a way that was not unlike how his mother had held him before he mastered the Vulcan mind rules, it was not the cold hold of a Vulcan. Carefully he opened that part of his mind to investigate the fear he could not recognize knowing he had to know what it was in order to help his friend. For a moment he almost stopped in shock as under the fear Jim had was a deeper fear for his life, a deep concern for how his Vulcan friend would take the news of his death, that he hoped that his death would not cripple him in any way, hoping that his friend and First Officer he would accept it as meant to be. In all his fears Jim had been afraid for him. Knowing what that deep fear was shocked Spock yet also allowed his human side to feel a moment of pride that Jim should care so much, so profoundly, about him.

He knew at this time Jim would need a part of his human half and he remembered not only how his mother had held him but suddenly recalled how McCoy had recently held him. Slowly he started to rub Kirk's back as his mother and McCoy had rubbed his as it was clearly a Human method of comforting and reassuring another that they are safe and loved and being taken care of. He was aware of only six other occasions when Kirk had clung to him almost like this. Almost like this only this time it was far more intense as there were so many fears and memories that were bombarding his friend at once.

Gradually he felt the fear and mental anguish ease slightly in Kirk and felt him relax then slowly nod, "I'm okay now, Spock." Spock released him and for a moment his friend stepped back and looked at him, "What would I do without you?"

"I am pleased and honored to be of assistance. You," for four point five seconds he hesitated and then knew he had to state the facts as that would be what his friend would expect, "you seemed to be having extreme difficulty in dealing with the situation you were in and all you encountered on the planet."

Again Kirk closed his eyes and pulled Spock tightly to him as still very fresh memories tried to reclaim him and for two point nine seconds Spock was unsure of exactly what to do. He had seen his Captain and friend upset many times but he could not remember seeing him so distraught. He reprimanded himself for mentioning the events on the planet as clearly Kirk had not fully dealt with them.

"I, I was so lost and having seen the butchered bodies of my officers and known what they would have gone through I was terrified as," slowly Kirk backed away so he could look at his Vulcan friend, knowing he had to tell him and needed to tell him . As he looked at his friend he knew it really was a lie that Vulcan's had no feelings as he could see the torment his friend went through waiting. "I knew you were not there and I had no way of knowing where I was or they were. They were hardly recognizable as men they had been so butchered. I could hear the hunters getting closer and then I fell. I felt a hand on my mouth and a voice I could not place calling me Captain and telling me to be still and silent. Then nothing till I woke again and I realizes whoever it was with me had tended to my injuries and obviously left me for a time as he had a trail I could follow. I, I did not notice it at the time but his voice had changed."

Momentarily Kirk closed his eyes and shook his head as he could still hear the pain in the voice he had not thought of at the time. When he opened his eyes he saw the deep concern in the dark eyes watching him, "Jim?"

"I, I did not hear it then but when he spoke again he was in such pain. He told me what to look for and what way to go. Told me to go and even how far I had to go and what to look for. He was in so much pain and yet he, he, he."

"Jim, you must know that he is getting the best of care now."

"Now, yes, I know that, Spock. But I failed him, Spock. I failed him as his Captain. I did not protect him. He protected me. I am his Captain and I failed him. **I left him**. I **abandoned** him, Spock."

"You did ask for us to scan for him."

"I know that and I know I should have gone looking for him, Spock. I should never have left him."

"Jim, with no single life-forms showing on our scans there was no way you would have known where to look for him. You are not responsible for,"

"Dammit, Spock, I am his Captain. I swore an oath,"

"I know that Jim but do you not accept that there is a possibility, irrespective of how remote from the realms of reality it may seem to be, that his personal oath took precedence on this occasion? You were in no mental nor physical condition to really take care of your own needs."

"And he was? I heard the pain in his voice, Spock. I heard him fighting to breathe but," again Kirk stopped and owed his head only to feel a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I could not sense your existence, Jim. I did not know what,"

For the first time Kirk smiled as he looked at his friend. "When I realized I was lost and you were not going to be able to help me I, I tried to not think only react as I knew that you would be able to sense me. I wanted to spare you that. I hoped that Bones would,"

"McCoy was," while he did not want to tell of his close to emotional breakdown on the bridge he also wanted Jim to know of all the help and, yes, love and support, he had received from the bridge crew, "of great assistance, Jim. The whole command crew was but it was McCoy who seemed to know what to do to best assist me."

"It must have been,"

"It was no worse for me than it was for you, Jim. You had Wairstone and I had McCoy so we were not alone and had,"

"But I left him, Spock. I was hurt and I left him. I knew that he was hurt and I left him. You were hurting yet you did not leave McCoy and may have taken some comfort from him being with you and he was also hurting but you did not leave him. I left him. I left him there alone. I was also his commanding officer, I took an oath to protect my crew and I, I left him. It is bad enough I left him but I knew he was hurting, I knew that he was in pain and I still left him." For a moment Kirk stopped, turned away, took three steps away seemed to struggle to maintain control of his emotions and slowly turned and looked at him, "He may live, Spock, but how do I live with knowing **I left him to die**? How do I live with knowing I have no right to be a Captain as I left one of my officers to die alone? What if he lives, is deemed medically unfit and is taken off the ship? I will have done that to him as I left him. I left a living officer behind, Spock. I should have stayed with him." Kirk closed his eyes as he bowed his head and softly said, "Omigad, Spock. **I left him and he knew it. He knew I was leaving him." **

Spock could see that his friend still had a horrendous amount of guilt, possibly more than he could bear. So many times he had seen Jim Kirk in deep mental pain about some action he had taken, had seen him take time to accept that what he had done was the right thing but this, this went deeper. This was clearly more personal. He knew this man so well he knew how deeply he cared about his ship and his crew and how he would take such an incident as a personal failure. No, this was more than a personal failure like so many other incidences he had later accepted as part of his position as the Captain on a starship so far from assistance. So many times he had seen him bear the loss of other officers on different planets, had heard him say that he was their Captain, and none of them had been as deep and personal as this clearly was. For a moment he thought of doing a mind meld but knew that in his state Jim would not agree. He knew that this had to be all up to Jim to find a way out. Yes, it was up to Jim to find that way out but he knew it was up to him to find a way to help his friend to find that way out.

* * *

A/N So much for spring as it has been almost endless rain and cold winds in this area. Not the best of weather for working outside nor going for walks with the dog. Enjoy.


	11. Chapter 11

"Jim." No, he stopped, remembering what his friend had said, and took a step back to really look at his so very Human friend, "Captain, think back to what he said. **Think** , Captain, did Officer Wainstone not tell you where to go, as well as how to get to where you had to be, and **did he not tell you to go?** Did he not, in effect, almost order you to leave him?"

For a moment Kirk just looked at his Vulcan friend and slowly remembered what had been said by that pain-filled voice and slowly nodded his head, "Yes, yes he, he had obviously done reconnaissance. I remember. He knew exactly how many steps it would take, told me what to look for as indicators. He knew I had to go. **He sent me** , sent me knowing I could complete the hunt, prove our words were the truth, prove we are a worthy people. He sent me," Kirk closed his eyes for a moment and Spock knew his friend was accepting the truth, then looked back at him and when he did the Vulcan silently admitted to himself he was relieved when he saw his human friend had regained control, "he did not say the words but he sent me to complete the mission even though," Kirk took a deep breath and for a moment closed his eyes, shook his head and then looked back at Spock, "even though he must have known he would die there in pain and alone."

Spock had seen the pain and the acceptance when Kirk had looked back at him, "So you did not willingly nor freely leave him, Jim. He made you leave. He pointed out, in his own way, the logic in you, his Captain, going to complete your mission." Spock kept looking at his friend and saw the slight nod, "You did not leave him. He made you leave."

"Whose with him now? Someone should,"

"Doctor M'Benga is with him now. McCoy should still be resting. You are to get some sleep. I will go ensure Wainstone is not alone, ascertain his condition, and then retire to my quarters for some rest. I am sure we are both in need of at least seven point one nine standard hours of rest after recent events."

"You will,"

"Rest, Jim. I will ensure Wainstone is being taken care of, as I am sure we both know he will be as we both know that to the medical crew there is nothing, **nothing** , worse than the wrath of Leonard McCoy."

At last it was there, as Spock looked at his friend he saw that smile that touched the hazel eyes and knew that his friend had settled with his demons about Wainstone. He knew that while the demons had gone that his friend was like him, he knew that there was a debt to Wainstone they could not fully repay. He also knew that McCoy would have a similar feeling even though he had had just a glimpse of the torment their friend had been in and would have, as a Human, known that it had been Wainstone's actions that had saved Jim. His actions that went far beyond the expectations of Starfleet.

"You are right, Spock." Kirk had smiled and nodded, accepting that his friend was not only correct but knew him almost too well, "I do need to rest, to think this over, and to sleep. But so do you. You cannot tell me that you were not on full alert while I was away, even with Bones helping you."

"I would not presume to tell you that which you already know, Jim. I am certain that McCoy is also getting the sleep that he needs and, as I have stated, I will check on Wainstone's condition and then retire for the night. I will see you on the bridge when we are both on duty. Sleep well, Captain."

"You too, Spock." As soon as his First Officer had left Kirk sprawled on his bed just wanting to think before he showered and went to sleep. He did not succeed as the exhaustion he had tried to ignore washed over him and he slept a deep untroubled sleep.

M'Benga looked up briefly as Spock walked into Sickbay and up to the bed Wainstone was on, pausing only mid-step to nod to the doctor who was looking between the patient and the monitors showing the man was still alive yet in the same amount of pain as before. "He is not unconscious, just in a very deep sleep. From what I can tell those herbs not only cleared the poisons from his systems but also allowed him to relax which has let him sleep. He was clearly fully physically tested to be able to sleep as long as he has and as deeply as he has."

"There is no lasting damage due to the unorthodox line of treatment?"

"No, Mister Spock, all his readings have changed very little since I came in. He had a restless moment but did not wake, just changed positions several times."

"Thank you, Doctor M'Benga. I am pleased he will make a full recovery."

"It will take him some considerable time to make a full recovery, sir." there was something in the way M'Benga had made the statement that made Spock look from Wainstone back to M'Benga. "The main Science Section is doing a thoroughly detailed analysis of all the samples that Doctor McCoy sent them and are double checking them to meet his standards and to be able to provide the answers to the likely questions they think he may ask." Spock gave a slight nod as he was only too aware of the minute details that McCoy would want to know. "From what we can tell these are the remains of some sort of lingering neurotoxins that may severely delay his recovery."

Spock looked at some frames on the screen showing scans of Wainstone's brain and saw what appeared to be some form of plague covering it yet a plaque that was very gradually disappearing or rather dissolving. It would only be once his brain was clear of whatever it was that they would know just how slowly he would recover but clearly whatever was being so slowly clearing from the membrane around his brain could well have some impact on his full recovery and the speed at which he did so.

As he looked at Wainsntone the Vulcan clearly remembered that there had been, so far in this five year mission, four officers who had died as a direct action of saving the Captain when their own lives were not directly in danger. Four others who, like Wainstone, were also not strictly Security officers but officers who were capable of other duties although he was aware that Wainstone was rated highly in multiple disciplines. Of those four others who had died not one had been all that willing to die in saving Jim, to fight as clearly Wainstone had, to not only save his life but to enable him to fulfill the mission they were on. Wainstone had enabled Jim to fulfill the mission and return to the ship, and to him. As he stood looking from the screen to where Wainstone lay Spock knew that his friend and Captain as well as McCoy would not be the only ones to be with this man to assist in his recovery.

He looked again at the frames and noticed the time they were taken. "Have you received any more current reports from the Science Division regarding the neurotoxins and how they will be effecting his mental processes? You are aware that those were from fifteen point eight seven minutes ago."

M'Benga looked silently at him for a moment as though taking his time to phrase what he had to say, "Mister Spock, they only really discovered it and requested more samples twenty minutes ago."

For a moment Spock just looked at M'Benga and realized what the man was not saying. McCpy had sent some samples, the samples he wanted tested. Samples obtained under his direction. To have obtained samples they would have. No. He stopped himself as he felt an unusual sensation, like a shiver, flash through him as he realized that to obtain samples they would have had to obtain some of the deeper cerebrospinal fluid, a treatment that was proven to cause mental problems in most patients as well as severe physical pain. Just for eleven point nine seconds he was pleased it had not been McCoy on duty as such a decision would have weighed very heavily on him and because of the emotional undertones he would not have been willing to take such a risk without the patient's permission. M'Benga was a very highly qualified doctor who possessed a far more scientifically based way of thinking than McCoy and would be more inclined to see what could be learned than what it could do to a patient, especially if he believed the patient to have an uncertain future.

Slowly M'Benga nodded as he glanced from Wainstone back to Spock and Spock saw the understanding about the man's eyes, "This is unlike anything we have encountered before and I decided that the best thing to do to fully investigate what we are dealing with was to tap and get some cerebrospinal fluid. As you are aware there are at least eighteen tests that must be run to even identify what exactly it is and then to discover what is does when it is in contact with the brain. As soon as we have that information I will let you know. For now it should be enough that he is alive and sleeping: he sustained the sort of severe physical damage that kills seventy-eight percent who sustain such extensive and severe injuries and associated systems poisoning."

It was an unusual occurrence yet Spock allowed himself to have a momentary lapse, as he realized that he would rather have talked with McCoy about Wainstone's injuries. It was the way M'Benga had said " _For now it should be enough that he is alive and sleeping"_ that reminded him of why he cared so much about McCoy, it was his concern for his patients. While McCoy might have said something with similar meaning he would have shown more concern for the patient. Rather than saying exactly what he was thinking Spock walked over to the bed and looked down at Wainstone one more time. As he looked down at the man he knew McCoy would have said the truth in that _for now it is enough that, for now, he is alive and sleeping_ , then he gently reached out and placed his hand on Wainstone's for a moment before he turned and looked at M'Benga, "Thank you, Doctor. I will go briefly to the bridge and then to my quarters to rest. Should there be any change in his condition, irrespective of how small, I expect you to contact me immediately before you contact Doctor McCoy."

* * *

 **A/N** Rocking and rolling here - a 7.5 quake just after midnight and close to 150+ aftershocks since. The joys of being an area warden and having to check on those in my immediate area. Thanks for the reviews and reading. Enjoy. Have fun. Take care/stay safe.


	12. Chapter 12

Jim Kirk woke and realized that not only had he been asleep for just on four standard hours but that he was still in what remained of his uniform following the hunt. He lay still for a moment as he realized that the talk he had had with his Vulcan friend and First Office had removed all the fear and guilt he had felt during and after that incident. It was true he had not deserted Wainstone and he had known that but had needed to hear it said by Spock before he accepted it. Spock had reminded him that while he had sworn an oath to protect his crew there were times when his crew were there to protect him and ensure he fulfill his duty. For a moment he closed his eyes and again heard both the pain and the command those words, " Clear. Go now, Sir." As he freshened up and got ready to return to stop by Sickbay on his way to the bridge and duty he remembered Spock saying that he had persuaded McCoy to rest and had a feeling he knew only too well what had happened so knew he would have to check on his Chief Medical Officer and friend first. Despite his protestations that he had no feelings Kirk knew only too well that the Vulcan most likely felt more than any of them could imagine.

When he walked into McCoy's quarters he found his Chief Medical Officer just waking and cursing about, "That green-blooded son-of-a-bitch nerve pinched, put me on the fold-down in Sickbay and when I was awake enough Chapel had one of the medics all but carry me to my quarters and put me on my bed, cover me and leave when I went back to sleep." As McCoy stood Kirk saw the softness about the blue eyes, "Damn him. He knew just what to do, knew I was so tired. He needs way more sleep than I do but you know if I mentioned it I would be reminded of how Vulcans supposedly do not need as much sleep as us mere humans do. While you were away he made sure that there was absolutely no slackness about any officer's work. He was making us all concentrate on our roles on the ship so that our minds did not have time to contemplate the thousands of scenarios his mind had obviously already done. I imagine he is still on the bridge,"

"No, Bones. He said he was going to check on Wainstone then the bridge before going to his quarters to rest for,"

"And you, of curse, believed him?" McCoy went to the computer and linked in with the main medical one, "Well, we'll just see about that."

"M'Benga here. Officer Wainstone is slowly improving and a certain visitor has just left. The latest results should be on your file on him."

"Thank you, McCoy out." For a moment McCoy looked at the blank screen then flicked t another screen. Kirk saw it was a medical report and saw McCoy nodding as he read it before turning to look at him, "So much for him getting," he stopped as there was the subtle whoosh of the door to his quarters opened to reveal the one they were talking about standing there.

For just a moment he appeared surprised to see both of them there before he said, "If I may, Doctor, I would like a word with you."

"Well, don't be standing there, come on in, Spock." Once Spock walked in McCoy really looked at him and saw the tiredness he had expected to see, not quite exhaustion that he knew Jim would see but the tiredness he knew to look for after having seen how emotional his Vulcan friend had been earlier.

"I have come to apologize for making you rest in the manner I did. I should have asked for your permission before I,"

"Forget it, Spock. You did the right thing. What with all that went on it would have taken several drinks to knock me out enough to sleep while I was not even fully aware of your actions till too late. I am the one who should be thanking you."

"Doctor there is no need to,"

"Good," McCoy nodded, "I'm glad that is settled now, how was Wainstone's when you saw him last?"

"I was just in Sickbay and Doctor M'Benga before coming here and he said that there has been a slight improvement in his condition."

"That's well and good, Spock, and both Jim and I are pleased and relieved to know it, but I asked how he was when you saw him."

For a moment Spock looked from Jim to McCoy and saw the real concern on both faces and deep in both the hazel and blue eyes. It was obvious that they were as concerned about Wainstone as he was. It was also obvious that they wanted to know what he thought about Wainstone's present condition, most likely knowing that he had seen the latest test results as well. "When I saw him, Doctor, he was in a medically-induced sleep. From what I could tell from observation and hearing alone he was in mild pain but his breathing was regular and strong and his skin tone appeared normal and not as flushed as before." He looked from the Doctor to his Captain, "I trust you slept well, Jim."

"Yes, Spock, I had a good sleep and I do not know about Bones but I'll bet you have not really rested in some time and do not even think of that not needing as much sleep lecture."

"Once you have McCoy's clearance to resume command and it is confirmed by McCoy that Officer Wainstone will make a full recovery I will retire to my quarters and rest."

Neither Spock nor Kirk missed how, for only an instant, McCoy closed his eyes and slightly shook his head.

"What is it, Bones?"

McCoy let out a long slow breath not sure how either of his friends would react to what he had to tell them. Hell, he should be used to having to accept things like this himself but having to tell them only made it harder. Of the two he oddly felt he had to be looking at Spock when he said it. "I am not all that sure I will be able to tell you that, Spock. From what I have seen of M'Benga's findings it is unlikely he will make a full recovery. He will recover enough to be in Starfleet in a base-bound role but I am not sure if he will ever be able to pass a medical for a role on a starship."

There was none of the calm Vulcan acceptance he had expected from Spock ad he heard Kirk say,"But you aren't sure, are you Bones? There could be,"

"Jim, I read M'Benga's reports and findings. I know what I saw. I had thought he might but," he closed his eyes as he saw the near hopelessness and blame on Kirk's face.

"Doctor," there was a tone in Spock's vice that made McCoy turn and look at him, "If you recall both she and the Captain agreed that he would want to make his report. I believe you and I know that despite all scientific factors it is that stubborn human factor that has him still with us. Is it not, therefore, logical that as he has fought this long to make his report to believe that, with your assistance and medical expertise, he will fight to make a full recovery?"

"Doctor M'Benga is,"

"While M'Benga is a brilliant scientifically centered doctor his skills in patient care and his concern for his patients as people are not in the same league as yours, McCoy." For a moment McCoy was stunned then Spock continued, "There is no doubt he is a highly skilled physician yet he is unwilling to believe in things he cannot see or touch and does not have faith in his instincts while you are willing to trust those basic instincts you have despite the fact that have no logical basis. You are willing to care enough about your patients to take risks while he has often displayed an adherence to known scientific and medical procedures rather than take that risk."

"Spock, I," McCoy started but found he was too stunned by what his Vulcan friend had said that he just stood looking at him.

"I ask you again, Doctor McCoy, do you not believe Officer Wainstone, with help from you and myself, will fight to make a full recovery?"

In the dark eyes looking at him McCoy saw the truth, that blasted Vulcan believed it, believed in not only Wainstone, but also in all he had said about him. For so many years he had thought that maybe his Vulcan friend admired his skills but to hear him say what he had filled him with a warmthe he had not experienced in a long time. He calmed himself as to show what he was feeling would only embarrass Spock and gave a nod, "Well now that you mention you will be helping him, and we both know Jim will be there with us but out of Wainstone's sight, I believe that he will fight to make a full recovery so he can give Jim his report. W ith us in his corner he will have a fair fight."

Spock had given that slight nod McCoy knew meant he heard and accepted the unsaid, "I would suggest that when you are ready we go to,"

"I'm ready now and want to get Jim to Sickbay to check him over and then you before I order you to have at least six hours of sleep as I know you have not slept nor even rested since this started."

"Doc," Spock started but McCoy held up a hand.

"Don't you even try that Vulcans require less rest than humans claptrap! Try it and I will up the hours I order you sleep. You know it and I know it and if Jim were to really look at you he would see it too. So let's get to Sickbay, check on Wainstone and then the two of you."

In Sickbay M'Benga greeted them and said that there had been no significant change, "As you will be aware that his condition is unique, largely due to the unusual toxins and their reactions in his body, I have left you my recommendations of the best medical installations that can not only learn more from him but also where he will have the best care."

McCoy was aware of the slightest change in Spock's posture and how Jim Kirk flexed his fingers, "Thank you for that. While I am aware you have run several tests on him I still have several more tests I want to run through with him and on him before any thought is given to his future."

Once M'Benga had left the room McCoy silently indicated where Kirk should stand and Kirk opened his mouth to protest then remembered what had been said. If Wainstone saw him he would want to give his report. He agreed that Wainstone was holding on to give him his report and would stop if. No, he knew both Spock and McCoy would make Wainstone believe that he would have to rest and wait to give his report. He did not like not being able to talk with Wainstone, not to be able to thank him, but they would get him to rest and when McCoy thought he was strong enough Kirk knew he and Wainstone would have several long conversations including Wainstone's report.

Without McCoy saying anything Spock moved to stand beside him at the bed as it was apparent from how Wainstone was moving and slightly moaning that he was waking. McCoy waved his scanner over Wainstone, looked at the readings and nodded first to Spock and then gave Kirk a reassuring grin as he nodded to him.

When the light brown eyes opened there was, Spock noted, some pain but almost an immediate awareness when Wainstone looked at him. Although the voice also reflected pain the seven words showed he knew where he was and who was there as well as his main concern, "Mister Spock, Doctor McCoy, is Captain okay?"

McCoy placed his hand on Wainstone's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze, "He will be. Right now he is under observation. What I need to do is have you squeeze my hands as hard as you can." Spock watched as Winstone gripped and squeezed McCoy's hand, noting from the look McCoy gave him that while obviously not strong there was a distinct grip. "Good, now," McCoy lifted the sheet to expose Wainstone's feet and placed the palms of his hands against the soles of Wainstone's feet, "I want you to push against my hands as hard as you can." As Spock watched he saw both feet move and saw McCoy nod as he coved them again, adjusting the blanket and lightly patting the covered legs, "That's good, Kyle. You just rest. I'll let you know when you can talk to the Captain."

"He, he will be okay?"

Briefly McCoy looked at Kirk then at Spock before back at Wainnstone, "He will be okay after he has had some sleep and a few good meals. You just rest. One of my staff will be with you. You can give your report to him later."

Spock saw how Wainstone looked at him, Mister Spock, you, you will tell him I am,"

"I will tell the Captain you are following medical orders."

"And," McCoy spoke up, "I will also tell the Captain that you are following my medical orders to you and that you are getting some rest, hopefully some sleep. My staff will let me know if you do not follow my orders and I do not want to have to tell him you have not obeyed them. Now," McCoy lightly brushed Wainstone's forehead, "Spock and I will go tell the Captain while you rest. I would prefer you sleep but a fitful rest would suffice, agreed?"

For a moment McCoy kept looking at Wainstone who looked right back at him and then nodded, slowly closing his eyes, "Agreed."

With a nod of his head McCoy indicated they leave the room and, once seated in his office the three looked at one another, with Spock finally saying, "If I am not mistaken, Doctor, your testing of his reflexes and strength in his limbs indicated his strength was returning as well as his ability to control his extremities and that you found them to be at an acceptable rate and level."

"Well, they were not up to the acceptable level," McCoy paused and smiled to himself when he saw both Spock and Jim look at him and he saw he surprise and the concern, "at least not the acceptable level of a Vulcan but they are just fine for a human."

"One day, Bones," Kirk smiled and shook his head.

'That is good you said that, Jim, for I do not want you or Spock to return to duty till you have both had more rest," McCoy immediately turned and looked at Spock, "Nota word from you about Vulcans not needing as much sleep as humans." then looked at Kirk, "And in this matter I out-rank you, Jim."

When Kirk looked at Spock he saw his friend give a slight nod before the Vulcan looked at their friend, "I will admit, Doctor, that a period of rest would be welcome."

"And," Kirk looked from Spock to McCoy, "I am sure I will feel better after a few more hours sleep. What about you, Bones? Don't you also need sleep?"

"With that nerve pinch Spock gave me, and my staff working in cahoots with him, I have had more sleep than required is by regs. Now off you two go or I will have to put in a medical report on you."

Kirk looked back at Spock who looked at him, "Captain, I do believe the good doctor would do just that and therefore suggest we comply."

Kirk looked back at where Wainstone lay sleeping, "Yes, I can sleep now. He's safe and with Bones." Come on, Spock, the sooner we get it over with the sooner things will be back to normal."

After they had gone McCoy walked over to what Wainstone lay and placed a hand on a shoulder, "Think Jim is right, things will get back to whatever passes as normal on this ship. Somehow this crew manages to get that to happen. Just wish I could remember what is normal."

* * *

A/N That is that one done. With the good old quakes and a few medical capers time just vanished. Enjoy and may 2017 be a great year for all of you and yours.


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